Only human
by The Musical CC
Summary: Saving Hans from being sold as a slave wasn't in Elsa and Kristoff's plans. But now that they have, both of them and Anna need to figure out what they're going to do with a pompous, back-stabbing, manipulative jerk, and rehabilitation seems out of question. Or does it? Helsa/Iceburns.
1. Forfeit

**1. Forfeit**

_I still remember the sun  
>Always warm on my back<br>Somehow it seems colder now...  
><em>

Evanescence. Field of Innocence

* * *

><p>With the voice of the merchant booming through the tent, Hans was finding it exceedingly hard to remember how it felt when each part of his body didn't hurt.<p>

Well, except 'Hurt' would be putting it kindly. His body felt like he'd been split to pieces and then assembled again after being rubbed with salt and rolled over sharp corals. Hardly deserving of the price written on the price tag around his neck, but he guessed they were charging for his good looks. They _had_ made a remarkable job sparing his face, after all.

Still, to think he was being sold as a slave! Him! Prince Hans of the Southern Isles!

Or, just Hans now, he guessed; because having his body all but pulled apart by ropes, his back lashed, and being half-drowned, beaten half to death, pinched with needles, burn with red-hot steel, starved and dragged around like a mutt on a leash was proof, as if he still needed any, that he was not a prince anymore. Well, he couldn't get any more anti-prince-like than kneeling on the floor in the middle of the room in a bunch of rags that couldn't even cover the wounds on his flesh, his hands tied behind his back with a rope held by this stereotypically gorilla-like thug, could he? He half-wished he still cared.

Because initially he'd fought, bit, punched and kicked his tormentors, but his will had dried out pretty soon as he realized it only made things worse. That and it wasn't like he actually _could _escape or even defend himself. Any semblance of hope or perseverance he'd ever held was now replaced with listlessness and exhaustion.

So much that he didn't even look up when screams erupted on the room, when the hands that held his rope released it and fled for dear life, or when the cold wind sprinkled with snowflakes brushed through his hair, giving him chills.

What finally made him look up was the sound of his name after weeks of not being referred to with anything but insults.

"…Hans?"

* * *

><p>Yes, Queen Elsa knew an attack of Ice Giants was most definitely NOT the best way to deal with slave merchants.<p>

But the whole concept of depriving a human being of their freedom –for money, no less- made her so mad that when she was informed that a caravan of this _vermin _was seen upon the limits of Arandelle she couldn't help but heading there herself to give them the fright of their lives (And just a fright, even when she was disgusted by that kind of people, Elsa wouldn't dream of bringing real harm to them) but most of the court had spoken against it, deeming it too risky, too unfitting. Elsa had been tempted to freeze the ink inside their ink pots to prove a point on how she was anything but helpless, but Anna had won the matters for her by assigning her a protection, which happened to be coincidentally the one most likely to become her brother-in-law, Kristoff.

And it was Kristoff who'd pointed out at the man in the middle of the room and the chaos spurred by Elsa's Ice Giants, his face falling with shock, because he recognized him immediately, despite the fact that he looked more dead than alive, his hair was slightly longer, he was unshaved and dirty and his body was black and blue and angry hues of brownish-red. The former prince had looked up when Elsa betrayed herself in shock and uttered his name and given them an incredibly indifferent look.

"Queen Elsa" he said with a painfully hoarse voice and a frighteningly calm tone before dropping his head lazily again "Of course it's you. Out of all people, you would be the one to find me like this"

Kristoff made a motion towards him as if he were a piece of rotten carrot and asked in a hurried whisper what they were going to do with _that_. Elsa took a while to reply, trying to appear indifferent despite the fact that her eyes were tracing the markings on Hans body and try as she might to feel that he deserved it, she could only feel pity at their sight.

"Free him and send him home as soon as possible, the same as everyone else"

The anguishing sound of Hans trying to laugh made them squirm uncomfortably as he rose his head, just enough to pin his eyes on them with a sickly grin plastered to his sweaty face.

"Are you for real?" he managed out, incredulous. The Queen had the man who broke her little sister's heart and almost killed her at her mercy and of all things she was sparing his life?!

"I can understand how human decency surprises you, seeing as you are devoid of it" Elsa countered coldly.

"Oh, I'm so hurt I forgot to cry" he retorted flatly, letting his face fall to his chest again "Well, I guess it doesn't matter, it'll amount to the exact same result"

The last sentence was heavy with hidden meanings and neither of them could hold back the uneasiness it caused them.

"…what do you mean?" Kristoff ventured, and Hans seemed to consider whether to clarify or not for a few moments before speaking.

"Say, how do you figure I ended up here?"

Kristoff and Elsa exchanged a puzzled look, mentally numbering the possibilities.

"Oh, come ON" Hans cut their thoughts impatiently, interrupting himself with a cough before continuing "I'm not so sure about this oaf here but I know you aren't stupid, Queen Elsa"

"Hey!"

"Enough" Elsa said, raising a hand to appease a disgruntled Kristoff "We are not playing this game with you"

"It was the Royal Family"

They both stared at him in silent bewilderment.

"_What_?" Elsa hissed, breathless.

"My family. The Royal Family of the Southern Isles gave me away to the slave merchants, but I'm sure if you send me home they'll realize they shouldn't have feared staining their hands with my blood and finally do what they should have done from the beggi-"

"That's a lie!" Elsa snapped at him, a gust of cold wind slapping his face and it seemed to take him a moment to realize why she was reacting like this to his words, but he did "You expect us to believe your brothers, your father and mother, your own family would-?!"

"Oh- _ohhh_, right. True love, was it?" Hans mocked dryly, and then he turned and tried to spit in the ground to show his thoughts on it, but his mouth was dry. Why was he saying this? Exasperating Elsa wasn't a smart move in his situation. He could be very well throwing away what little chance he had to get away with his skin.

But perhaps he was just as tired of pretending as he was of everything else, even trying to stay alive sounded too much an effort.

"You're lying" Elsa insisted, albeit weakly. It felt too much like he was trying to earn their sympathy. She had been manipulated by him once, she wasn't about to fall for it twice.

Still...

"You're free to think whatever puts your pretty little head to rest" he continued in a barely audible voice, because suddenly even his own words seemed distant. Even the act of taking breaths felt like a titanic one and spots swam before his eyes like a multitude of flies. But among this haze he could see blue fabric, and legs bending and then Elsa's wary face, and he could hear the Ice Harvester (What was his name, anyway? He was sure he'd known it at some point) growling something in alarm. And then Elsa spoke.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Hans" her voice was low and heavy with threat "Was it really your family that did this to you?"

He hesitated for a moment, because he wasn't sure if it would bring him any good to accept it, but ended up nodding groggily, because suddenly he felt like he could throw up if he tried to speak and shock, disgust and oh, no, not _pity _of all things crossed her face.

"Oh, come on, this isn't any of our business!" Kristoff protested, despite the fact that he was looking down at Hans with the same shock and disgust and revoltingly raw pity as the Ice Queen "Let's just patch him up quickly and drop him on the next ship for the Southern Isles, I'm sure he can brainwash someone back home into—"

Hans hacked, trying to laugh and the noise suddenly made him fragile at the eyes of his enemies.

"I have no home. Never did"

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><p><strong>C.C (a) the author here. <strong>

**Helsa.**

**FUCKING HELSA.**

**I barely finished one fic on them and BAM new plot bunny. I don't know, guys, this one looks like it could have at least five chapters, despite the fact that I want to keep it simple because otherwise it'll NEVER GET DONE, I KNOW MYSELF. **

**Either way, comments and reviews are welcome.**

**C.C, out.**


	2. Equal

**2. Equal**

_Goodbye to the kisses I gave until yesterday  
>Goodbye, dear pain in my heart<br>But that's OK, I'm somehow still living today  
>Things like loneliness or past or rumors<br>Desires or relatives or habits  
>Starting tomorrow, they'll stop mattering<br>"People will understand your feelings someday if you believe..."  
>Don't joke with me, you don't really believe that, do you?<em>

_'Nowbody knows' by Shikao Suga_

* * *

><p>Both Kristoff and Elsa knew telling Anna was possibly going to be the hardest part of the whole matter.<p>

Scratch 'Possibly', it WAS the hardest part, hands down.

But in the end she ended up accepting there was nothing else they could have done. With Hans beaten to pulp, starved, weak and feverish and with possibly nowhere else to go, the only decent thing to do was exactly what they did.

That is, take him to the castle until he got better and the three of them figured out what they were going to do with him.

* * *

><p>It was the fifth time that week, Hans thought, wrapping himself on the quilts because he couldn't stop shivering. The fifth time he'd had a fever that week and he still couldn't bring himself to care.<p>

But something almost –key word being _almost_- did spark enough his curiosity to make him care and this was how private this captivity was being kept. He could hear the guard outside his door sneeze or snore or cough or whistle from time to time, but he had never seen his face. Hell, even the Ice Harvester (Kristian? Krusty?) hadn't set a foot into the room since then. Hans was kind of grateful that Anna hadn't either, though.

And then there was Elsa, whose face was the only one he'd seen since awakening inside that room (And why was he in a _room _and not a cell?) and was likely going to be the last face he ever saw, if his lack of recovery –not only that, he seemed to be getting worse by the day- went on. He vaguely remembered she'd said something about an infection; well, it was to be expected, what with the careless treatment of the merchants towards their goods. And it explained why he often woke up to her changing his bandages, looking at the gashes and bruises and burns on his skin, specially the skin of his back and sides, with pursed lips and a pessimistic countenance. She didn't seem to hold much hope of his recovery either, but what really puzzled Hans was how affected she seemed. Sure, he knew she was incredibly idealist, incredibly kind for someone with terrible power in more than one aspect, but he still couldn't grasp the fact that she seemed saddened by the fact that this man who would have cut her head without a second thought was dying.

As he slid into the edge between sleep and wakefulness, he mentally listed her visits, his sightings of her between fevers and sleep and vigil: Elsa gingerly washing his body with a sponge under the misty, pale light of morning. Elsa feeding him spoonfuls of hot soup. Elsa covering him with cold, wet cloths when the fever was so high that he all but felt fire sprouting from his wounds. Elsa pouring him water and helping him drink because his hands hadn't quite recovered the ability to function after the time they spent tied to his back. The glisten of her dress when she moved across the room. The clean, fresh smell of her skin when she approached him. The silvery hue of her hair, like the back of the hills on winter nights.

He hated her. He hated that she made herself the only contact with reality he'd have until he was finally dead and over with. He hated that he made him depend on her and only her. He hated how helpless he felt whenever she wasn't there to hand him over things or soothe his pain with medicines and ointments or just move at all.

But even so, he had become so accustomed to seeing her that even in her dreams she seemed to sneak in, but that was kind of a relief because otherwise he got fever-induced nightmares.

Yes, he remembered there was this one time when he was having a particularly horrible nightmare and then the dream changed, as dreams are known to do, and without warning he was back in the room and she was staring down at him, sitting by his bedside and then she'd cradled his head on her lap and _sang _to him, her cool hands refreshing his boiling head. And the voice he dreamt for her was beautiful and soothing, and he slid into yet another dream, this time a good one.

And with the memory of that voice emerging from within his haze, he finally fell asleep.

* * *

><p><em>But when he wakes up he does with a hoarse wail and it's because the pain is overwhelming and oh, how he regrets waking up (Or is he even awake? Because he's had nightmares that feel incredibly similar to this) He writhes on the bed, all but tearing off the wet towels over his skin in frustration, and spins his head around, only to catch a glimpse of Elsa's incredibly worried face. She looks like she might be sick and this somehow rubs him in a bad way. Has she ever seen a man die? Has she even faced mortal illness' incredibly ugly face? Her expression says she hasn't; oh, how easy it is to preach mercy and human decency and <em>true love _when one hasn't glanced at the utter madness and horror of human condition. So he sits up and tears off some bandages too and his nails scratch the wounds open and only then she finds the strength to go to him and try to stop his hands from doing any more damage. Blood seeps from one of his wounds and she stains her hands as she tries to place the bandages back and the sight of red over her ice gown makes him think of what he would have done to her and it makes him even wilder._

_ "I'm going to die" he hoarsely groans between pained wails, still squirming, and just as he utters it, it dawns on him that it's true, dream or not, he will die. _

_What does it matter?_

_ "Hans, calm down" Elsa tries, her voice strained with that disgusting _pity _she holds for him, pushing him down into the bed to no avail._

_"You and your whole kingdom will celebrate once I'm gone" he keeps spitting out, as if vomiting a poison that consumes his insides "You and your sister and that Ice Harvester what's-his-name and my father and brothers. All of you, happy to see me rot in a ditch"_

_"That is not true…!" she half-pleads, seeming genuinely mortified by his words._

_"Oh, isn't it?!" he sneers grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her to him until she's so close he can see the light freckles in her nose "So you mean to tell me you'd care if I died? That anyone at all would?"_

_She doesn't reply, but there is a slight, almost imperceptible movement in her features, a light twitch of her lids as if she were squinting to find a shape in something unidentifiable._

_"You can't, can you?" he releases her "Of course you can't. Why would they? Why would YOU?"_

_It's a legitimate question, because he's remembering how worried she seemed for the past days whenever she realized he wasn't getting better._

_But he breaks into a fit of coughing that stops him from continuing and she quaveringly reaches for the water jug only to freeze the liquid solid upon contact with the recipient. Her hand retrieves and she cradles it, as if burnt, lips pursing with displeasure, but he contemplates this during his fight for breath. She obviously didn't mean to do it but she can't help it because she's altered. This brings the memory of what these powers are capable of and it dawns on him that this girl could be the monster to end them all, because if she can be pretty dangerous without intending to, heaven knows what would happen should she ever actually intend to._

_And yet, Elsa has a sister and friends who'd miss her should anything happen to her._

_But if Elsa has the potential for being a monster, Hans not only has it, he USES it._

_And that's the reason why no one will cry for him once he dies. _

_He's finally stopped squirming, much to Elsa's visible relief._

_"Why would anyone care_…?"_ he whispers. His throat feels incredibly sore, and his whole body is trembling and he feels as weak as a child as he lets Elsa lay him down, her cold hands soothing against his feverish skin. The words stick to his throat until he finally manages to choke them out in a sob._

_"…Why was I even born?" he breathes out, and all of his rage evaporates and he's just a guy crying because he feels incredibly sorry for himself despite how pathetic that is and because despite everything he doesn't want to die yet. Elsa is beyond astonished. He covers his face with his forearms and turns away from her to avoid seeing the surprise turn to pity and cries his heart out and when he's finished he feels so exhausted that he can't keep his eyes open._

_But he feels a cold, small hand trace his wet cheeks and comb back his hair and a soothing voice telling him he's not going to die._

_"I won't let you die" she says in the edges of his sleep, her fingers drawing lines in his scalp._

_And Hans believes her._

* * *

><p>He got better. It became undeniable once he began eating something besides the strong-smelling soup he, surprisingly enough, came to love during his illness. He was thin, pale, covered in healing wounds and still pretty much aphonic after coughing his lungs out for the past weeks, but definitely recovering.<p>

And on this day where he had the satisfaction of filling his stomach with something solid for the first time in forever, Hans ventured the question in the croak his voice had become.

"Why?"

Elsa was picking up the tray, readying to leave, but left that unattended to look at him warily. He hadn't spoken to her since _that_ night, not a word, and she couldn't help but feeling grateful for that because there was only so much information about him she could process at a time.

"Pardon?" she inquired, cocking an eyebrow.

"Why wouldn't you let me die?" her expression became incredibly nervous at this and the thought that it was because she knew the real question under this one was the same he'd made back on that night crossed his mind.

'_Why would anyone care?'_

"Why do you want to know?" she said, trying to mask her uneasiness. He sneered slightly.

"Replying a question with another one it's a display of poor upbringing"

Come and gone, the uneasiness was replaced with a glare.

"Goodness, where are my manners?" she sharply retorts "Allow me to correct myself: That is none of your business"

He laughed, then cringed at the pain still residing in his ribs.

"Surely you'll agree that at the very least I deserve to know whether I'm being healed to be put to death later" she pinned him an incredibly scandalized look before replying coldly.

"However barbaric the Southern Isles' customs are, that is not how we do things in Arandelle"

"Really? _Barbaric_?"

"What would you call a Kingdom where even the Royal Family has deals with slave merchants?"

"So you did believe me!" Hans half-mocks, eyebrows raising.

"Well, I must. One of the guards of the caravan confirmed your story" however, her glance had gone from angry to puzzled. It was like she couldn't believe he'd said the truth and Hans supposed she had good reason. He had nothing to gain from lying in that case, but she didn't know that.

Her scrutinizing eyes on him were starting to feel heavy when she suddenly said something Hans was too distracted to understand.

"I'm sorry, what?" he said, feigning incredulity. She pursed her mouth as if having second thoughts on what she'd said, but repeated it nonetheless.

"I couldn't..." she averted her eyes for a second, but regained composture immediately "Let you die. I couldn't"

He chuckled humorlessly, thinking of the insulting emotion he'd often caught in her eyes since their encounter under the sales tent.

"Of course" he said, in a why-didn't-I-think-of-it-before tone "Pity, was it?"

"No" she snapped, catching him off-guard with her offended tone. Then she made a pause, breathed in, eyes closed, and continued, visibly reluctant "I couldn't let you die because of what you said when we found you. And..." she furrowed her brow "...and...because of what you said the other night"

This time he did laugh, despite the fact that it still hurt to do so. By the time he could stop, he was expecting her to be glaring knives at him but instead found a surprisingly –and unnerving- calm expression on her face that cut his laugh short.

"I'm sorry but, are you listening to yourself?" he wheezed "What did I ever do to deserve the indignity of being charged with the accusation of telling the truth?"

And yet his stomach was a knot, because she was still looking at him with a serenity he never thought he'd see in her.

"How do you know that wasn't just me trying to earn your sympathy?" he continued, smiling despite the panicked thoughts running rampage inside his head, lying the best he could because the sole thought of being reduced to sincerity (by her, no less!) was infuriating.

"No" she insisted gently and he realized something had shifted in her eyes "It was the truth"

"How do you know?!" he demanded, this time unable to feign the laughter. He was genuinely shocked. And scared. What was it exactly about the way she looked at him that had changed? He couldn't wrap his mind around it just yet.

She took another deep breath before answering.

"I know those words. They're not quite the same, but the essence remains. I have heard them before, lots of times, for a long time"

Hans didn't want to know. He was sure of it, and yet, when he realized pity was nowhere to be seen in her eyes anymore and there was something else on its place he couldn't just stay silent.

"You heard them from whom?" he breathlessly asked.

She made a hesitant pause, before running a hand through the platinum bangs on top of her head, disarranging them slightly. And then breathing deeply in defeat.

"…myself"

He then realized what was it that had installed in Elsa's eyes; she was looking at him like someone who once stood the same ground as him.

"It takes a liar to know another" she finished, with a pursed-lipped half-smile.

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><p><strong>CC (a) the author here.<strong>

**I'd like to thank everyone. The first chapter got an incredible amount of support. I certainly wasn't expecting it! I hope the second chapter doesn't fall short to the expectatives. **

**Yes, yes, I know the idea of Hans having a complete breakdown is strange, but things the way they were it was just a matter of time until he did.**

**Comments and critiques are welcome.**


	3. Incorrigible

_And what do you think you'd ever say?  
>I won't listen anyway…<br>You don't know me,  
>And I'll never be what you want me to be<br>_

_"I'm still here" Johnny Rzeznik_

* * *

><p>"So...sideburns of deception is recovering quickly, and don't misunderstand me, that's good, but what are we going to do with him?" a struggling to appear calm Kristoff asked, his worry betrayed by the fact that he was all but leaning forward, resting both hands over the mantle. Elsa and Anna, sitting next to each other on the round, small table, exchanged uncertain looks, turning back to Kristoff once they realized each had expected the other to reply "OK, so no idea" he said with a sigh.<p>

"Why can't we just ship him off somewhere?" Anna suggested with a pout "I know his homeland is out of the question, but there are other places…preferably far away?"

"Hans is a criminal" Elsa countered "And not a common one at that. If it were any other noble exiled from his court that would be the obvious answer, but…" she trialed off, shrugging slightly. Both Anna and Kristoff knew how cautious she was being with Hans contacting anyone at all, since even the two of them and the guards in charge of his custody had been all but forbidden to see him or talk to him when he was first admitted at the castle. It had seemed as though Elsa were trying to shield them from him, her taking the whole responsibility over his possible actions or words. Only recently had she allowed Kai and Gerda, their trusty household leaders tend to his needs such as feeding and cleaning, accompanied by some guards.

"OK, I get it. We can't let a catastrophe like him run amok in an unsuspecting land" Anna nodded, scratching her ear pensively, her mouth twisted in deep thought.

"Soooo…he's stuck in Arandelle" Kristoff summed.

"More like Arandelle's stuck with him" Anna grumbled.

"Well, if he's a criminal, shouldn't he be sent to prison?" Kristoff suggested half-heartedly. Despite everything, what he had witnessed in the sales tent and, more importantly, what he had heard lit a minuscule flame of compassion inside him. He wouldn't touch Hans with a ten-meter pole but he wished no ill towards him.

"It's an option, I guess" Elsa said, seeming as reluctant as Kristoff to the idea "Except, again, this is Hans we're talking about and he seems past even _trying_ to appear likeable. He's closer to snake-tongued than silver-tongued these days"

Yes, Kai and Gerda had often reported on the unkindness of her guest. More than once had they had to stop a guard from slapping his mouth shut when his comments became too much for them to bear. They hadn't however, been specific on the subject of these comments, only that they had been incredibly rude. Elsa had her suspicions about it, but never really confirmed them since her visits had become less often and somehow Hans seemed to hold himself back in her presence, remaining incredibly dry in his attitude, but always within reasonable limits of politeness. She guessed he was trying to distance himself and couldn't blame him, even for herself the idea that she could understand his feelings was scary, which was exactly why she was doing the same, compensating her past openness with renewed formality.

Anna puffed the hair out of her eyes, claiming back her attention.

"Well, yeah" she agreed "I mean, little Prince Asshat—"

"Language, Anna" both Elsa and Kristoff protested mildly.

"Would get himself killed by an angry cell-mate in no time" she continued, unfazed.

"Also, according to the slave guard we captured, he isn't precisely the most passive of prisoners; he told how he'd had to beat him back to submission more than once"

Kristoff scoffed remembering the pitiful state they'd found him in.

"More than a dozen times, I'd say"

"Upon asking another prisoner, he admitted having seen Hans being beaten up regularly" Elsa said, her brow furrowing in disgust and rage at the captors "At least once a day, sometimes twice"

"Yes, but that is only up to him, whether he wants to be a pain in the—!"

"Anna"

"…neck to the guards and have them treat him badly, that is completely up to him!" she looked around, hoping for the approval of her audience. Kristoff shook his head.

"Asking that guy to be decent would be like asking a mutt to keep his tongue off himself. That's just the way he is"

This time it was Anna's turn to shake her head. Well, of course that was the way he was, which was precisely why their insistence in protecting him seemed ridiculous to her! In her opinion, what Hans needed was to learn a thing or two about what happens when you go about life doing whatever you please without taking other people in regard. She had the feeling both her sister and beloved were making a mistake by treating Hans so carefully, but said nothing, contenting with twisting her mouth in a pensive line again.

"I was thinking maybe community service would be fitting…" Elsa began, more towards herself than them.

"No" Kristoff hurriedly replied "You haven't heard what the people of Arandelle tell about him. Having tried to kill the Royal family doesn't precisely make him popular among the folk. He'd be lynched the moment he sets a foot in the street" the three of them shivered at the thought "…how about a private cell, then? No guards, just someone to tend to his necessities at certain hours"

"I'm starting to believe that is the only option left but…" Elsa stammered, embarrassed at her own weakness, and fumbled with her fingers slightly before continuing "…I just…wouldn't want to confine anyone to solitude…" she finished averting her eyes towards the window. Silence greeted her words.

"Oh, couldn't the trolls hex the jerk out of him so we can send him away or something?" Anna said, more out of frustration than anything.

"OK, now you're just being silly!" Kristoff said, rolling his eyes, despite the smile in his lips. Elsa, on the other hand, seemed to lighten up.

"Anna, you are a genius!" she exclaimed, getting to her feet.

"HUH?" both Anna and Kristoff produced in almost unison, eyebrows cocking.

"What was it that the trolls told you back when you two first met?" she was saying walking in circles around the room, her face intent with ideas.

"Um, I don't know, that he likes to tinkle in the woods?" Anna shrugged.

"OK, WOAH!" Kristoff embarrassedly yelped, much to Anna's amusement "How is that helping?"

"They said everyone was a fixer upper!" Elsa said, turning to see them "Everyone!"

This time it was Kristoff's turn to exchange a confused glance with Anna, before realization washed over them both, making his hand fly to his forehead in shock and disbelief and Anna's eyes widen in fright.

"You're not suggesting…" she nervously chuckled, raising both index fingers in a conciliatory way, but one look at her seemingly newly insane older sister told her that yes, of course she was suggesting. Her hands balled to fists at the sides of her body "Oh, no…no! Absolutely not! You have to be kidding us here because there's no way you could actually be suggesting that WE fix the bastard up!"

"It worked for me, right?" Elsa said calmly, not even bothering to call her out for the language.

"No—Elsa that was completely different! Your powers are something you were born with, but Hans chose being a manipulative, cruel, lying jerk! You tell her, Kristoff!"

The alluded, who'd been deep in thought, turned to see her with an uneasy look.

"Actually…" he started with a gulp.

"DAMN IT, NOT YOU TOO!"

"No, no, just hear me out, OK?" Kristoff continued, raising both hands in what he wished were a calming manner, though the fact that he was cowering made him think it probably wasn't "It's just I-I've have been taught that no one is completely bad at heart, you know? And, who knows, maybe we could-"

"I can't believe you guys!" Anna snapped, as if talking to two particularly snotty kids.

"Throw a little love their way and you'll bring out their best, Anna, that's what the trolls said" Elsa insisted.

"Oh, so now we're going to smother him in hugs until he stops being an ass, are we?!"

"He's alone in the world, Anna, and something makes me think he's been for a while now" Kristoff gingerly commented.

"Gee, I wonder why?" she pressed on.

"But what if this is consequence instead of cause?" Elsa asked.

Anna didn't dignify the question with a reply. Instead, she walked past both her insane sister and her insane and oh-in-such-a-sea-of-trouble beloved towards the door and opened it with such force none of them would have been surprised to see it torn from its hinges.

"The Trolls also said people don't really change" she stated and left, slamming the door shut.

* * *

><p>Hans stared at the fresh clothes at the feet of his bed in disbelief and then at Kai, who'd put them there, and then at Elsa who stood by his bed, a guard behind her eyeing him as if expecting him to spring at the Queen.<p>

'_Hell of good that'd do_' he though '_As if I'd be stupid enough to try anything when the only reason I'm still alive is her_'

Oh, irony.

"I'm sorry, come again?" he breathed.

"Change" she patiently obliged "We are going to the stables"

Well, she'd said it again, but he still couldn't believe that was actually what she'd said.

"Whatever for?" he inquired, suddenly wary, eyeing the guard and Kai. Not of her, he knew her to believe herself above treachery. But the question of what would happen to him now that the infection had finally receded completely had been plaguing his mind recently, and of course the most logical option was that he wouldn't be kept under her protection for much longer. This frightened him, he found, one of the ugly downsides of actually wanting to stay alive. Because he knew for a fact though Elsa was naïve enough to spare his life despite all he'd done, without her around he'd be dead within minutes. What if this visit to the stables was just a way to lure him into a cart to be taken away?

He hated how, even though he wasn't nearly dead anymore, he was still so stupidly dependent of her. He'd even needed her help to stand up the first times he'd done so since his recovery, much to his chagrin.

"The doctors have prescribed exercise for your full recovery so you will be taking half an hour rides on the hills surrounding Arandelle" she explained gently and somehow reassuringly. The thought that she'd realized his fears crossed his mind. But no, it was impossible. OK, so they had a few things in common, that didn't mean she could read his mind or something. He was unreadable, he was always one step ahead of everyone. There simply was no way someone (her, of all people, HER) could guess what was in his mind.

"With an armed escort, of course" he guessed, nodding to the guard behind her. The man glared at him as though he'd made him an insulting signal.

"Escort, yes, but not armed. Someone with the capacity to reduce you without weapons, should you try anything funny"

His eyebrows rose and he smirked.

"Oh, am I to be escorted by the Queen herself?"

The guard started violently at this, looking as though he were about to beat him. Elsa tensed up a bit.

"I'm afraid not, Hans. My incapacity to ride is only matched by my incapacity to dance"

He hated it, the condescending, impersonal way she was addressing him lately, the same she'd used upon their first meeting, back when he'd presented himself as his sister's fiancé. Who did she think she was? She couldn't waltz in one day and say she knew what he was going through and then act as though nothing had happened.

"Who then? Pig-cheeks here?" he motioned for Kai with a rude jerking of his head. Kai, already used to his pokes at his physical appearance, rolled his eyes.

"Further refrain from disrespecting my staff" Elsa retorted, scowling slightly.

'_Oh, look. Finally, a reaction_'

"Or is this trained monkey capable of putting down his sword if you feed him enough peanuts?" he continued, staring at the guard.

This time, Elsa herself had to physically restrain the man back.

"Say that to my face, pretty boy!" he roared, ignoring how his Queen was trying –and failing, Hans realized, looking at her feet being dragged forward with the man's body- to push him back.

"Tut-tut, compliments will get you nowhere with me, a monkey stays a monkey" Hans chided mockingly.

"Gentlemen-!" Elsa strangled out.

"Call me monkey one more time…" the guard growled, ignoring the scorch staining his uniform, product of the no doubt altered young Queen.

"Put a sword in my hand and I might just draw it out for you…on your backside, right under your furry tail" Hans retorted with a smirk, this was the most fun he'd had in weeks. By the time he'd finished saying that, Kai had joined Elsa's efforts to hold the guard back, with far much better results. She was indignantly squeaking something he didn't quite catch (She wasn't calling them sweet names, that much was for sure), to no avail.

"Keep talking, mutt!" the guard spat, now beyond furious "You think you can say whatever you please and then run and hide under Queen Elsa's skirts?"

"I would very much like to make my way in there, mind you, but pleasurable as it would be, it wouldn't do much good"

He didn't miss the scandalized, wide-eyed look she shot him, her mouth freezing mid-sentence and the ice covering the guard's clothes thickening visibly.

"I'll rip that viper tongue right out of your pretty mouth!" the guard menaced.

"Do your worst" Hans invited, arms open.

What happened next was, in so many ways, to confusing. Because suddenly the guard was being lifted off the ground like a kitten being scooped up by its mother, despite the fact that he looked like he was, at least, as tall as Hans, and moved away as if said mother were about to put it back in the basket were it had sneaked out from. It was so disconcerting that Hans fell silent, watching with a furrowed brow.

It was no mother cat, of course, but the Ice Harvester whose name kept escaping his memory.

"Looks like I'm going to have to keep him on a leash or he'll start barking around" the Ice Harvester said disapprovingly, letting the guard go, but placing himself firmly between him and Hans. Elsa, regaining poise as best as she could, brushed her hair back nervously and took a deep breath. The ice on the guard's uniform vaporized.

"This is Kristoff" she said, shooting Hans a look that could have very well made icicles dangle from his face "He will be your escort"

Hans took one look at him and tried to come up with a snark answer but the sudden contrast on height and build, coupled with the fact that Elsa's exact words about his escort before had been 'Someone who can reduce you without weapons' summoned an image directly from his childhood, rendering him speechless. That one time when Alexei, one of his older brothers, possibly the tallest and strongest of them all, even in his early teens, had made a joke about Hans's mother and he'd been innocent enough to believe righteousness and anger would make of them both David and Goliath and thrown himself, head-first, against the brute. The result was a bleeding nose, a swollen arm, a beaten stomach and him lying on the ground in a puddle of his own tears, completely humiliated, completely _useless_.

"What, no comment?" Kristoff said, cocking an eyebrow.

"I've had my fun for the day" Hans said, feigning nonchalance, despite the fact that he felt smaller than he had in years.

"Good. Behave yourself during the ride and I might decide not to have my kind of fun with you"

"Is the Queen leaving the room anytime soon so I can change or is she going to sit back and enjoy the show?"

This time Kristoff had to throw the guard out of the room.

* * *

><p>By the time he returned to his room, followed by a much better shaped Kristoff he was covered in sweat, staggering in exhaustion and firmly set on falling asleep the moment he fell on his bed. Which was unfortunate, because Elsa was inside, sitting on a chair next to the bed, a book in her hands.<p>

"My…two visits in one…day…" he panted trying to smile "What do I…owe…the honor?"

Elsa pinned him one of her freezing glares over the book and turned to Kristoff.

"How was the ride?" she asked.

"Oh, you know, his weak little legs had some troubles supporting him over the horse's back" Kristoff mockingly replied, earning a glare from Hans.

"I'm a…a little rusty, that's all" he said "You would be too…after almost a month of being either on…on your knees or sick in bed"

"Sure, sure, whatever you say…"

"Did he give you any trouble?" Elsa asked, unflinching.

"Nothing a good slap on the snout couldn't fix" Kristoff said with a smirk, patting Hans on the back with his bear-like strength, all but throwing him on the bed. The red-head mumbled something, muffled by the quilts.

"Very well, Kristoff. Thanks for everything, I'll be taking care now"

Kristoff nodded and took off, not without a suspiciously wide-smiled recommendation about the effects of hot water in sore muscles, directed to Hans. Once the door was closed, Elsa laid down her book on her lap.

"Now, if you would enlighten me on the reason of your misbehavior towards the guard earlier today…"

"Not now, I'm exhausted" he grumbled.

A rush of cold wind chilling his sweaty form made him all but jump out of the bed.

"Yes NOW" Elsa countered, glaring at him in a way that made him fear he'd be frozen solid if he didn't start speaking immediately.

"I do have a reputation of being a pig-headed jerk"

"Oh, believe me, I am well-aware of this"

"So why is it surprising if a jerk acts like one?"

"Surprising? Not in the least. What I wish to know is whatever prompted you into it, because even dogs need provoking before biting"

Come to think of it, it was a good question. What had it been? After all, his snark had come to be as a result of him being the runt of the litter, too young or too small to confront his older brothers physically. He'd more often than not end up mauled after unleashing his tongue on them, but if someone knew words still scar deep, that was him, and that satisfaction of knowing his words would remain with them longer than the bruises they'd inflicted on him made it all worth it. In his older years, he'd only unleashed it in the presence of those over which he held clear advantage or as a defense mechanism.

That day, however, he had been neither under attack or in advantage. So why?

"Well?" Elsa pressed.

With a shiver, Hans realized it had probably been the way she'd treated him as of late. Like she hadn't burst into his privacy and had the gull to put some of hers out there for him to peek at it.

'_I just wanted you to talk to me like you did before_'

He held her gaze, feigning calm.

'_But I'll sooner burst than admit that to you_'

"Are you sure it was what I said to the guard that bothered you?" he quickly deflected "Or was it the comment about getting under your skirts?"

He had the satisfaction of seeing her blush a furious crimson at this question, despite the fact that the room suddenly felt like the inside of a glacier. But when she got to her feet and walked to the door, he regretted saying it. What if her patience wore thin and she sent him away?

Why hadn't she already, though?

"What was all that about anyway?" he demanded as she reached for the doorknob "What are you people planning to do with me?" She paused, and seemed to consider whether to reply or not.

"I have no idea" she admitted, not looking at him "Kristoff and I thought we had figured something out, but…" she looked at him coldly "I guess Anna is right. People don't really change"

And she left, leaving him too puzzled to even ask what she meant.

* * *

><p><strong>CC (a) the Author here.<strong>

**Wow, this one was quite quick to write. **

**...it's really weird to write Anna being mad, but really, she has a point. As for the language thing, I have this headcanon that she's can't help but repeat whatever kind of expressions she hears around town because she's not used to them. Let's just assume she had a walk on the docks or something...OKNO**

**Also, douchey!Hans is incredibly fun to write, despite the fact that he's making himself look bad in front of the lady.**

**Comments and critiques are welcome!**


	4. Faith

_Just like the eagle does in its wings as it flies  
><em>_As I do in freedom, I believe and I know  
>That my world could very well fit in a pocket<br>Love it, and forever make me believe in you_

_I believe in you  
>Just like the sun believes in each sunrise<br>Like in my own evolutions  
>Like fear believes in courage<br>I believe in you, my star, I believe in you  
><em>

_'Creo en ti' (I believe in you) Miguel Bosé_

* * *

><p>"Sooo…how did it go?"<p>

Elsa turned to look at her sister gingerly stepping into the balcony.

"Disastrous, as you probably know by now" she said softly, walking to her to conduct her back in-doors "Let's step inside, it's a bit cold"

'_Because I'm so fumed I might or might not have chilled the castle-grounds_'

Oh, irony.

"Kai did hint it hadn't exactly gone according to plan" Anna admitted as Elsa closed the doors behind them. Her sister hummed a humorless laugh before taking a seat next to her tea-table and resting her forehead in the back of her hands.

"What was I thinking?" she muttered.

"You weren't, DUH" Anna replied, sitting on the chair opposed to her sister's. It had been put there not so long before by Gerda, once it became obvious that the princesses weren't content with the scarce interaction they'd been having up 'till then.

"What am I going to do with him?"

"Neuter him. I've heard it works for aggressive dogs"

Elsa raised her eyes, lips thinning over her teeth.

"Anna, I-I am serious" she staggered, fighting the smile that wanted to form in her lips.

"So am I" Anna deadpanned. The battle for seriousness was lost without a shot. Both of them laughed themselves silly like they used to when they were younger.

"Perhaps I was being too pretentious" Elsa continued, once the laughter had receded "Trying to fix up someone who clearly has no interest in bettering himself"

"What, so he actually said it?" Anna retorted, incredulous. Elsa shook her head.

"Not really, but I can take a hint"

"OK, let's see, what did he say when you told him what you were up to?"

"I didn't"

Anna's face fell.

"What, for real?"

"Should I have?"

"Oh, my GOSH, you're incredible!" Anna heaved, her hand flying to her forehead in frustration.

"W-what? What did I do?"

Anna remained silent for a few seconds, glaring at her, before leaning forward slightly, as in conspiracy.

"Listen, Elsa, this is something you always end up doing and God, GOD, IS IT ANNOYING!" she rolled her eyes up and pressed her cheeks with both hands in a mock mask of despair "But I'm guessing it's not intentional, so hear me out"

Elsa awaited, eyes curious.

"You do things your way, right?" Anna started "And I guess being Queen and all I can't really blame you for it, but would it _kill_ you to tell the people involved in your decisions what you're up to instead of assuming everyone will accept them blindly because apparently you know better?"

Elsa mouthed for a few moments, unsure.

"I don't think I understand" she finally muttered.

"OK, make me say it. Back in the ice castle—" Elsa articulated a long groan, which Anna promptly ignored "I freaking climbed a mountain to find you. A freaking mountain. And not just any mountain, but the one with wolves and rocky climbs and precipices. And when I finally reached you, what did you do?"

Elsa was too mortified to even try to reply, so Anna replied herself.

"You sent me back without any real explanations"

"Wasn't the ice castle explanation enough, though?" Elsa sighed.

"What I wanted was an explanation on why my own sister spent years treating me as if I had the plague or something"

"I was just trying to protect you…" Elsa muttered, hardly noticing how the chair she was sitting in was starting to scorch. However, Anna did, so she reached out for her sister's hands and grabbed them with her own, warmness colliding with cold.

"I know that now" she said soothingly "But back then I didn't know what had happened when we were kids, or what the trolls had said about your powers, or how afraid mom and dad and you were that they were a curse rather than a gift"

Elsa pursed her mouth, remembering the years of pure _anguish _at the thought that she seemingly had been born for the purpose of destruction and nothing more, that she would never touch another human being again with her bare hands because she'd hurt them.

"All I wanted was my sister" Anna continued in a softer tone "And yet she kept pushing me away with no real explanation. And I sorta wondered whether she thought I was stupid and wouldn't understand-"

"No, no, of course not!"

"Or maybe there was no explanation and she just didn't want me around. All I knew is she kept rambling on how she didn't want to hurt me as if it were something bound to happen"

"I did hurt you…" Elsa replied.

'_And I almost killed you. Not once but twice or goodness knows how many times. I don't even know how many times you were in danger because of me during that time_'

The though made her try to pry her hands back, but Anna was having none of it.

"I'm OK, aren't I?" she stated, tightening her grip on her slightly, just enough to let her now she wasn't letting go.

"But-"

"Elsa, I'm OK. It was an accident, you didn't mean to hurt me and I know you won't again"

Her sister's eyes focused on her with wonder and the tiniest bit of amusement.

"How do you do that?" she said with a small chuckle.

"Do what?"

"Let bad things…go. So easily. Like they never happened"

Anna shook her head amusedly.

"Like they never happened? Of course not. Things happened, whether we like it or not. Like I can't change them anymore? Yes, otherwise I'd go crazy. Like I should learn from them instead of moping about them? Absolutely"

"May I learn to look at the past the way you do" Elsa said with a sigh "…even if that sounds like something the Trolls told you too"

"Aaaaanyway, weepy-story aside" Anna continued with suspicious hurry "You should know what I meant by now, right? I get it that we're bound to have comunication issues for a while, but you have to at least try to start reaching out for others too.! And if you really want to go on with this re-education of Hans, you need to tell him what your intentions are because chances are he's getting the wrong idea because you didn't bother explaining yourself"

"I understand" the eldest sister nodded, recovering her hands to rest her chin on her intertwined fingers with a pensive expression "...but…what if he plays us again by pretending to change just so we set him free?"

It surprised her a little to realize how much the thought unsettled her.

'_Because he and I are so alike in some aspects and if he is beyond help, then what will become of me?'_

"That does sound like one of his douche-moves…" Anna admitted, resting a finger on her chin pensively "But you can't honestly tell me you believed he could be changed with hug therapy or whatever in the morning and by now you don't believe he ever will"

"Good point" Elsa conceded softly, pursing her lips.

"Besides, if he is anything besides a cut-throat cretin, that is pragmatic. If you tell him your intentions are allowing him to start a new life, he might even like the idea, who knows? I still haven't figured whether jerks are happy being jerks, chances are they're not and he actually likes the idea of changing"

'_Except people who WANT to change do it themselves_'

'_Oh, just like I did, right?_'

"And, I mean, just think of how confused the guy must be by now, wondering whether you are testing new psychological torture forms on him or actually trying to help him"

Elsa cocked an eyebrow.

"Anna, are my ears deceiving me or are you defending Hans?"

"Ew, no. I'm supporting my big sister, that's all"

"…and?"

Anna fiddled with her fingers, a playful smile playing in her lips.

"…and I kinda could get used to the image of Kristoff tossing him around like a rag doll when he wants to talk smart to him"

* * *

><p>'<em>Just knock<em>'

'_Easier said than done'_

Elsa ran a hand through her hair and forced herself to take another deep breath. A hesitant hand rose to knock at the door and then fell again. She pursed her lips, brow furrowed in displeasure.

'_Why do I even need to knock? This is my castle and he's a prisoner_'

'_For starters, because it's almost midnight and he's surely asleep by now, and also because that is not how I want to approach him and I know it_'

She took another deep breath.

'_Can't this wait until tomorrow, though?_'

'_By then I will have surely come up with a viable way of not doing it, so no, it can't_'

She exhaled, her breath drawing soft frosty designs on the door. Then with a rapid movement that ensured she wouldn't have the time to back up, she knocked.

'_Please stay asleep_'

"…wha-?" a groggy voice called from the other side of the door, followed by a yawn "…come in"

'_Of course you didn't_'

She squared her shoulders and entered the moonlit room, closing the door behind her.

"I figured it'd be you" Hans said in a sleep-hoarse, low voice before yawning again. He was sitting among the ruffled quilts, his bandaged torso barely surfacing from the cocoon he'd built for himself among them and the pillows. Elsa remembered the chill her temper had created earlier and guilt pricked her slightly "You're the only one who still knocks these days, even the servant-"

"You are also a fixer upper" Elsa hurried, wringing her hands and bracing for the fall.

He eyed her sideways, perhaps waiting for the punch-line of the joke; but when he saw her expression, he turned to her fully, both eyebrows rising in a surprisingly innocent –albeit sleepy- surprised gesture.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand" he said, his voice devoid of its usual bite. She'd obviously caught him off-guard and he didn't have any clever answers for that in store.

"Um, when Anna and Kristoff…" she saw his expression stiffen the tiniest bit and tried another start "…no, um, back when you first…" sensitive topic alert "Um, the trolls said…" did he even know trolls were real or would he take it as a joke? "You see, back when…when I…augh…" she trailed off, resting her fingertips to her forehead in mortification.

He looked just about as disconcerted as she felt. It finally occurred to her that she couldn't explain it to him as easily as she'd done with Anna and Kristoff and chided herself for not thinking of a way to explain it to outsiders before knocking.

"I want to help you" she said, summing it up. He blinked, one eye closing before the other, and switched posture, straightening up.

"Alright, I'm awake now. Excuse me, but, help me with _what_, exactly?"

"With bettering yourself" he rolled his eyes.

"I know that according to Kristoff I can't even ride but I told you already, I'm just rusty, normally I—"

"No, no, it's not that" Elsa insisted, her hands still wringing. The urge to leave the room and pretend it hadn't happened was crushing her "I mean…with…um…your…your behavior. With the way you act"

He blinked again, pondering and then there was a shift in the air around him. It was as if up to that moment he had been vulnerable and open by effect of the sleepiness and suddenly he went back to his usual demeanor. He nodded curtly, a smug expression filling his features.

"I could have known"

Something about the way he said it made her incredibly uneasy.

"Could have known?"

Hans chuckled humorlessly, slapping the bump under the quilts where his knee hid.

"Boy, was I in for it! You had me for a moment there, with the little speech about knowing my words and about it taking a liar to know another. Clever scheme you had there!"

Her brow furrowed. She was just barely catching his drift.

"Scheme? I'm sorry, but, are you implying-?"

"You know full well what I am implying" he dryly cut her "I can only consider myself insulted that you thought I'd be gullible enough to fall for it"

She frowned openly this time.

"You've got it wrong" she muttered, half-reluctantly, aware that she was slowly but surely icing the room. If only she could leave…!

'_Breathe. Control it_'

"No, _you_ got it wrong" he retorted "Uncovering my vulnerabilities, if any, and then use them against me? You are going against the master in that art, darling"

'_…did he just call me-?_'

"Why do you have to be so unpleasant?" she cried almost pleadingly. The floor under her feet started frosting over with pointy, menacing designs, snow started to fall from the ceiling "I'm only trying to help you—"

"Help me? That's rich!" he laughed, his voice heavy with badly dissimulated anger, his breath producing a white puff in the cool atmosphere "Just how stupid do you think I am? I tried to kill you! I would have killed you, hadn't your sister been there to freeze herself over right in the way of my sword!" a fierce wind was starting to pick up inside the room "You expect me to believe you would whole-heartedly help me?"

Elsa's eyes were stinging with angry tears, the memory of Anna's frozen form flashed in her mind with cruel vividness, as well as the knowledge that she did that to her. Instinctively, she reached her hand back for the door-handle, ready to spring out of the room.

'_Leave now and all is lost_'

The thought stopped her in her tracks, chest heaving, her own heartbeat loud in her ears.

'_I can't do this. I can't. Why did I ever think I could?_'

She shut her eyes furiously to stop the tears from falling.

'_I can't run away every time things get scary. Not anymore_'

"Masks off, shall we?" Hans suddenly offered, having to raise his voice over the wind; yet, he seemed to have rethought his attitude (Perhaps he had remembered the position he was in) and kept his tone within levels of urbanity "Call me what you may, but I do believe in paying my debts. Just tell me what you want in exchange for saving my life and I'll see to it. Knock it off with this 'Help' nonsense!"

"You have nothing to offer" she reminded him, internally cringing when he saw his expression stiffen at the truth, but she straightened up and continued in a regal tone "All you've ever had to offer is gone. You have no familiar affiliations nor personal posesions anymore. The only thing you still possess is your own person"

'_And even that is debatable_'

"...what would I demand from you if I know this full well?" she finished, raising both hands and them letting them fall to her sides, as if explaining something extremely simple to a child who doesn't understand it.

Hans stayed silent for once, averting his eyes, his slightly blue lips and weak shiver reminding Elsa that he was covered in nothing but bandages and a couple of quilts and she forced herself to take a couple of deep breaths to calm herself before she froze him to death. But as the wind faded into a peaceful snowfall it dawned at her why he couldn't find a reply.

The thought that someone could act without ulterior motives was too foreign for him to even consider it.

As well as the thought that someone actually _cared_.

'_And that much, the Snow Queen can relate to_'

"And that is exactly what I will ask of you" Elsa said softly "Your own person, as you are right now, in exchange for my help"

"My, my, is the Queen making me indecorous offers?" he weakly retorted, still not looking at her. Elsa felt her face redden, but continued all the same.

"Stop being intentionally dense, you know full well I don't mean that. I mean your own person, with the history you carry, with whatever loyalties you still hold and the darkness within you, in exchange for my help"

He absently twisted his mouth.

"…that's quite the high price, in my opinion. But more importantly, whatever will you do with that?"

"Fix it up"

He raised his eyes, geniune confusion washing over his features.

"Fix it?"

"Bring out the best"

"So what you are saying is in exchange for doing something for me, you want to keep doing things for me?"

"It doesn't work that way...this isn't exactly something I can just magically summon. You'll have to do most of the hard work yourself"

He shot her a glance that could very well be translated as 'One of us is crazy and this time it's not me'

"And how do you think that can be achieved" he asked flatly.

She pursed her lips, blushing again at the thought of explaining him how the trolls would put it. After all, Anna had been incredibly eloquent at how ridiculous the notion sounded even for her; surely, the less gentle Hans would greet it in even worse terms.

"...I will go into such details later, if you are interested" she finally conceded. By the time she'd finished speaking, the snowfall had stopped and the temperature was much less frigid. Hans was still shivering slightly, but a healthy reddish hue had replaced the blues and purples in the tip of his nose and lips.

"How do I know this isn't a trick?" he pressed.

'_Is it really that hard to believe? Well, for a master liar it must be_'

"I understand this why you would doubt my words" she continued, ever patient "But believe me, I really do want to help you"

"Why?" he snapped at her, eyeing her suspiciously "And don't give me that 'Human decency' speech again, I'm too old for fairy-tales"

She pursed her lips, resenting his tone. He had the chance to see something flash under her calm exterior, something familiar.

'_Because letting you sink would be like letting a part of myself sink_'

"Because" she slowly stated "Although you may doubt it…I do believe we are the same"

Surprisingly enough, he didn't have a snarky reply for that and instead he stared at her, as if seeing her for the first time.

"Do you really believe that?" he asked, a little incredulous, trying his best to still appear smug. Once again, a distinctly familiar expression flashed through Elsa's face.

'_What, do you think because I never became as sour, as resenting as you, I didn't suffer also?_'

'_Guess again, I did_'

* * *

><p>'<em>The brief glances I got of Anna each day felt like they would kill me because despite what she believed, she was so free and so lucky and so <em>loved, _and I couldn't help but envy her a little_'

'_I loved my parents so much but I also hated how fearsome and anxious and _ugly _they made me feel, and I know they didn't mean it but I couldn't help but hating how with every passing day I was told to hide more and more, even from them. And then I hated myself for thinking this way about my family and I kept repeating just how disgusting and selfish I was being inside my head and this thoughts kept me awake at night._'

'_And then mom and dad died and the feeling that I was letting them down more than ever never quite left me for three years_'

'_Anna needed me and I couldn't even reach out for her out of fear of hurting her_'

'_I truly believed I was a monster_'

* * *

><p>"Don't you?" she retorted firmly to avoid touching the still-tender scar.<p>

'_Isn't that what you think of yourself too?_'

Hans lowered his gaze again, lips pursed in a line that made him seem as though he were holding back an answer.

"...OK. You win" he finally conceded, shaking the few remaining snowflakes off his shoulders and wrapping himself in the cocoon of quilts again "I'm listening"

Turned out Anna was right about him being rational above everything else, because once she explained to him that legally and morally, she was under the obligation of holding him there until he ceased to be a danger for society, Hans seemed a lot less defensive than before. He did laugh when Elsa explained to him that she believed human contact, real human contact (In the end she decided to replace the other set of words in hopes of him accepting it with greater ease) would play a huge part in his change, but as she finished her explanations, he still made her more adequate questions.

"Do you really think it can be done? To _me_?" he asked skeptically.

She started softly. There it was again, the highest wager in the matter.

'_I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't_'

"Do _you_?" she bounced back at him, seeing as it had worked the last time he'd made a question she wasn't ready to answer. His expression morphed to something she dared to identify as conflict. She took it as a good sign.

"…there really is nothing in for you by doing this, right?" he asked doubtfully, refusing to voice his thoughts on the other question.

"You tell me" she shrugged casually. It was by far the most humane gesture he'd seen in her and it spoke volumes about her sincerity. He felt the tension of his stomach muscles unknotting the tiniest bit at it.

"Not from where I stand" he admitted with a sour half-smile.

"So the conclusion would be?"

"That I haven't the slightest idea of what is going through your head…but that's OK, I haven't since I first woke up here"

'_Is it just me or does he sound a little…scared?_'

"It's a lot simpler than it seems, Hans" she insisted, her tone terminating "Either you believe me or you don't. Simple as that"

He eyed her gingerly. She'd long since taken the seat next to the bed again and the moonlight lit her from behind, obscuring her expression.

But her eyes glistened. With the same open, sincere light he'd seen in Anna's the day they'd met.

However, the conviction in Elsa's eyes was something he'd never seen. It shone like her ice castle had, it danced like the snow and ice she summoned for her people's enjoyment the day he was shipped back to the Southern Isles. It showed, better than any crown she could ever wear, why she was Queen.

"I believe in you"

He registered the fact that he'd said it out loud a little too late and shut his mouth so quickly he wouldn't have been surprised to have bitten his tongue off, lips pursing into a tense line. He didn't dare to look up at Elsa's face.

If he had, he would have seen gleeful surprise in her features.

"…couldn't this have waited until morning, though?" he added in a surly, embarrassed mumble.

* * *

><p><strong>CC (A) the author here.<strong>

**Not much to be said about this chapter, except I had planned for it to be a lot shorter and HEY GUESS WHAT CC DID IT AGAIN SHE WROTE SOMETHING THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SUPER SIMPLE AND MADE IT SUPER LONG.**

**Also, as you can see, the shippyness HATH APPEARED. Subtly for now, I don't really like forcing it down people's throats.**

**Comments and reviews are welcome**


	5. Branded

_As you go through life you'll see there is so much that we don't understand  
>And the only thing we know is things don't always go the way we plan<br>But you'll see everyday that we'll never turn away_  
><em>When it seems all your dreams come undone<em>  
><em>We will stand by your side, filled with hope and filled with pride<em>  
><em>We are more than we are, we are one<em>

_'We are one' by Marty Panzer & Mark Feldman. The Lion King II_

* * *

><p>Hans tied the sash around his waist and looked at himself in the mirror, flooded by a surreal feeling of being dressed in Arandelle's customs rather than his country's. He straightened the navy blue vest and eyed the lonely snowflake embroidery that decorated his chest. He'd recognized it from a medallion around both Kristoff and his reindeer's necks.<p>

The crest of the Snow Queen of Arandelle.

He wanted to either tear it off the clothes or caress it with his fingertips. He'd spent the last weeks since their little sincerity outburst straining his brain to straighten up the contradiction of his feelings on Elsa's actions towards him. On one side there was deep, deep despise for her weakness. A Queen should not let petty reasons such as sentiment stop her from keeping her family and her Kingdom safe –and he was a hazard, she knew that full well or if she didn't she was much a bigger fool than he'd initially thought- and on the other side was a profound admiration. Because submerged as she was in such a bloody, filthy and dark world such as politics, and faced against the great monsters of this world, she remained just as shimmering and immaculate as she had always been. How could she be so weak and yet so strong? The door opened without warning, making Hans start. Kai came in and closed the door, not even bothering to try and hide his smirk. He knew his entering the room without knocking got on Hans nerves, and that was likely the reason he always did it. He scrutinized the clothes, a business-like expression replacing his mirth.

"I see they fit you nicely" he said, straightening the sash the tiniest bit.

"I won't argue on that" Hans said, still inspecting his image. He was still too thin to appear healthy,his reddish hair was longer than he'd ever allowed it to be, the elbow-length sleeves didn't completely cover the scars and markings he'd gotten as a permanent reminder of his time as a prisoner, but taking in account he wasn't a prince anymore but a refugee he still looked quite dashing "But while we're on it, can you tell me why I'm getting new clothes?" Kai told him what he knew, which was more than Hans had expected him to but not quite enough. Apparently, both Elsa and Kristoff had been putting their heads together on his case for the past weeks so it was likely they had finally come up with something worth trying.

"And do you have any idea of what that might be?" Hans pressed. Kai shrugged nonchalantly; the door opening prevented further questions, and who would be standing there but Princess Anna. Her eyes swept the room and fixated on Hans, who despite feeling more than a little wary of her feigned calm. She looked like she had to physically restrain herself from running to him and punching him straight in the face again. She took a deep breath.

"You" she pointed at him and then the hallway behind her in what intended to be an intimidating, brusque manner. Hans glanced at Kai uneasily, but the servant seemed immensely concentrated in doing his bed. Clearly he wasn't going to get any help from him, so he obeyed and stepped out of the room, cautiously eyeing her in case the urge of mauling him became overwhelming. He knew that in his position, should Anna decide to go berserk on him, he wouldn't even get the chance to raise a hand to defend himself without everyone assuming he'd started it, but he wanted to at least spare his face another punch if he could. She motioned for him to follow her with a jerk of her head and started walking, her skirts flowing with every step. Hans followed her, always silent.

He had been following her almost mindlessly for a few minutes when she finally dignified him with a sentence. "They actually do believe you can get better"

He needn't ask who Anna meant.

"It would seem so" he confirmed mildly.

She remained silent for a while, the only sound in the hall being their steps, before continuing.

"I almost wish I could be that optimistic on the matter"

'_So do I_´ Hans almost said. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself for doing so.

"What are you up to, Hans?" she asked, half turning to him, and had not the fire in her eyes betrayed her, he could have sworn she was calm. He allowed himself a weak smirk.

"What makes you think I'm up to something? In fact, what makes you think I'd tell you if I were?"

She frowned and looked straight ahead again.

"You'd do well in remembering this" she made a mild motion to her surroundings "Is all you've got left in the world. Elsa and Kristoff…and me too, I guess, because anything that involves those dear to me involves me" It was his turn to frown, because she was right and that thought had been tormenting him for the past weeks. That the people he'd been so close to having under his boot were now his only links to humanity, the notion itself made his stomach churn in humiliation. He was almost tempted to think that had he known that would be the prize of being freed from his tormentors; he would have gladly stayed in captivity. But no, that was merely a comforting lie he told himself to mask the fact that he was, in fact, thankful for his relative freedom.

"Believe me, I do. At every waking moment"

"Oh, did you expect me to sweet-talk you and feel sorry for you?" Anna mocked dryly "I see no reason to. You got what was coming to you" she made a halt and waved her hands, correcting herself "—or, wait, no, no, because no one deserves slavery, but getting your ass kicked? If anyone deserved that, it was you" she huffed, regaining her step "I guess in any other case I would have contented with what you've suffered so far, but how can I even _start_ forgiving someone who doesn't look one bit sorry for what he's done?"

"You don't" he replied curtly. She was right about not being sorry at all. He wasn't. If he was sorry about anything, it was about not having made sure she was dead and stiff before leaving the room where she was (His own inability to stomach the idea was to blame. He _had_ danced with her and arrived to Arandelle with the firm idea of marrying her, after all) or of having taken his wicked time to swing the sword for Elsa while she was down instead of doing so quickly. But of course, how could anyone raised on the same naïve concepts of kindness and nobility ever understand? How could anyone with no further ambitions than finding love understand the kind of despair, of hopelessness it took to seize any chance, any chance at all to find something better?

'_Except she does. Well, back then she did, and precisely because she just wanted to love someone and feel loved back with the same despair you wanted your own place. She did, after all, accept the marriage proposal from a guy she'd known for…what, three hours straight? Anything that would kill her loneliness. Anything that would kill mine_'

But marrying off in a rush and killing someone simply was not on the same line and he would have been lying to himself had he dared to pretend he didn't realize that.

"I can only be glad things are the way they are, then" Anna stated, somehow tiredly "Because if we can't trust in your gratitude or even humanity to prevent you from stabbing us in the back, we can at least trust your sense of self-preservation to do the job. You can thank Elsa for not having been stabbed in your sleep while you were ill and helpless..." her voice trailed off into a whisper and he had to hurry his step and move his head closer to her to hear what she was saying, her eyes scanning the hallways as if expecting spies on every corner "And believe me, there were attempts. We knew the people didn't remember you very fondly but not many have the resources to hire an assassin, so it would appear nobility doesn't either. Elsa doubled the guards and went as far as keeping watch inside your room after the third attempt on your life. You owe her your life in more than one sense"

Hans blinked, his brow furrowed. The time of his illlness was blurry in his mind but he did remember there came a moment where he couldn't open his eyes without catching a glimpse of white skin and blue fabric and platinum hair in his room. That woman! Whatever had posessed her to do that? He was no stranger to royal assassinations, and he knew how often they could go wrong for whoever tried to interfere in them. The hacks often hired for the job didn't particularly mind getting rid of the obstacles with lethal force.

'_Be that obstacle a woman, or a Queen or a mother..._'

He gritted his teeth and pushed the thought aside. Of course, Elsa had means to defend herself pretty well and he knew it, surely she had never been in real danger. Anna had trailed off into silence as they walked, once again filling the empty halls with just the sound of their steps.

"_What are you up to, Hans?_"

The question repeated itself inside his head, because only then had he come to realize he was, for the first time in forever, up to nothing in particular. Whether he could take advantage of his situation or not, whether he could escape it or negotiate it or end it, it hadn't even crossed his mind. The apathy he'd fallen victim of during the worst part of his illness had receded enough to allow him to function, but it still lay within him, ready to spring and entrap him like quicksand. He was fighting, always fighting, to the point of exhaustion which left him unable to even trying to come up with a plan for the future, even the simplest one, and even trying made him feel mildly asphyxiated. For the moment, he contented with running with the flow, allowing himself occasional and humble pleasures such as getting on Elsa's nerves with either his smugness or inappropriate comments (A pleasure he sometimes paid with a while under a pile of snow or a wave of chilly air that made him shiver like a newborn puppy, but hell, it was well worth it) and his everyday rides around the hills. But apart from that, he felt like he was drifting among the days, going with the flow. He had come to the conclusion that the void he felt was as close as he would ever get to inner peace.

As they approached an important-looking door, Anna came to a sudden halt, forcing him to camber to avoid colliding with her. Her head was slightly lowered in what seemed pensiveness.

"Listen up" she said, her tone surprisingly calm but with an edge he had never heard on her "I'm taking a chance here and assuming you do have a heart instead of that frozen thing sitting in your chest, but…listen, Hans. If you have the tiniest bit of care towards Elsa…if you have the tiniest bit of gratitude for what she's done for you, just…just do this one thing for her, OK?"

He was immediately on guard, eyeing her with a furrowed brow. Of course they wanted something, after all!

"What?"

Anna turned to him, eyes aflame but full of plea.

"Please don't let her down" she all but croaked. All snarky answers he could have given her died in his lips in testimony of the raw, fierce and sincere love in Anna's eyes and an unexpected and unidentifiable pang of displeasure prickled him. He made what could have very well passed for a pout, if not for the tortured gleam of his eyes. Because the love in her eyes told him she was ready to do worse than just punch him if he so much as touched a hair on Elsa's head with an ill intention, but she was all but begging him not to make her break her sister's hopes. And though he had no real reason to do so, nor the intention to, he was suddenly positive that was what he was going to do.

'_Don't ask that kind of thing of me, oh, please don't expect anything from me, I have disappointed everyone who's ever expected greatness from me and that includes myself_'

But she was waiting for an answer and he was not about to start telling her the truth.

"I'll see what I can do" he muttered, his mouth dry. Inwardly cringing at the thought of having said the same to her sister while already arranging ideas in his head to kill her and make it seem like there was no other choice.

'_In my head there really was no other choice back then. What I wanted was just a breath away from me, and all I had to do was grasp it_'

His stomach churned in what he barely dared to identify as fear. Was it a lie that he didn't regret his actions, then? Not only that, but the fact that it was had passed unnoticed even to him? Had he gotten so good at lying that truth had become invisible to him?

Anna studied him for a moment, narrowing her eyes, as if squinting at a blurry picture. "Hold it..." she whispered, and then her eyebrows rose, framing her surprised, wide eyes and she studied him whole, as if looking at him for the first time.

"What?" he asked, scowling. He didn't like being scrutinized, it made him feel exposed despite the fact that he knew how to hide his weaknesses pretty well. But she had already turned and reached for the handle to open the door, motioning for him to follow her before entering. He did so, trying to mask his inner turmoil.

Inside, Elsa was sitting on her desk, scribbling away.

"I do hope both of you were sensible enough not to start a fight in the hallways" she greeted, an eyebrow cocked.

Hans and Anna exchanged a glance.

"What would have been the point? She would have left me unconscious in a second" Hans declared with a half-smirk.

"And you better remember that" Anna muttered, holding back a smile. Hans realized –with unsettling fondness- he knew the gesture because Elsa often did a very similar one.

"Glad to hear that…I guess" Elsa said, not without uneasiness "Now, Hans, you surely wonder the reason why you were brought here"

"Wasn't that just to give Anna the chance to sucker-punch me?" he retorted. Elsa moved her head impatiently and returned to scribble in her papers.

"No. I am granting you a citizenship"

Both Hans's and Anna's jaws dropped.

"What?"

"WHAT?" Anna squeaked "WHY?"

"Yes, why?"

"You will need it for your new job" Elsa replied, seemingly not noticing the effect her words had on her audience.

"New job?"

"HUH?"

"The new clothes are to inform the castle staff and the citizens of your new rank"

"New rank?" Hans repeated, wondering whether the Queen was playing a rather tasteless joke on him.

"Wait, wait, WAIT!" Anna squeaked, making a T with both hands "Elsa, I'm sorry but I really don't get one word of what you just said. Slow down, rewind, _explain_"

Elsa looked up, stared for a second and let out a comprehensive 'Oh' before putting down the pen and crossing her fingers over the table.

"Both of you take a seat and allow me to explain" she said, they obeyed, Anna taking a seat next to her sister and Hans across the desk "Um, goodness, I'll try to keep this simple. You see, during the past weeks, Kristoff has been giving me reports of Hans's improvement" she turned to him "It would appear you told the truth about being rather skilled in horseback riding" Hans shot her a playfully petulant smirk. "What you forgot to tell us was you are also very skilled in the care of horses. The horse I put under your care has gone through a visible transformation, and for the better I may add. It had never looked healthier, in my opinion"

At this, Hans eyed her, unsure. Well, how did they expect horses to develop to their fullest when they kept feeding them all the same things and rations without a care for their size or special needs? He'd had a go or two about that with the head stable-hand, but the boy (Who, by the way, looked like he was younger than most horses in the stable) had shrugged and ignored him. Clearly he didn't particularly care about the animals in his care. So Hans had taken matters in his own hands with his horse, but did that make him skilled? It had just been a matter of using his head.

"So Kristoff suggested I employed you for the training and care of the royal horses and I agreed" Elsa finished, seeming incredibly pleased with herself, which annoyed him.

"There is a minor detail you might have missed" he said "What if I don't want to?"

She countered with a knowing smile and a raised eyebrow.

"Don't you?"

He twisted his mouth, brow furrowed, because she had him on that one. Truth be told, it wasn't an unattractive perspective. He liked horses, he always had, and sitting around in his room for more than half of the day was slowly but surely driving him insane. Having something to do during the day, and something he could do and he enjoyed doing was something he simply hadn't thought would be possible. It was too good a chance to miss.

"Hold it, wait!" Anna interrupted, having held herself back for the most of their conversation "Not that I don't trust Hans, but…wait, no, that's exactly it, I don't trust him. What if he tries to grab one of the horses and escape?"

He dignified that with an answer after a short pause. He'd forgotten Anna lacked Elsa's insight.

'_Rather, her insight of me_'

"Where to?" he replied, turning to her with a bitter smile. Both sisters squirmed on their seats, uncomfortable. He did have a point on that, even if he could run away, he had no money or idea of where he could lead to, and even if he took the risk of riding aimlessly until he found another place to begin anew, the sole idea seemed foolish. He could run away from them but it wouldn't change a thing about his situation.

'_Besides, being here it's not so bad, I guess_' he thought, turning to Elsa again.

"Also, Anna, winter is about to start" Elsa continued, somehow hurriedly "Not only does this mean the surrounding mountains will be almost literally impossible to cross; in Kristoff's line of work, it means vacation and he agreed to keep an eye on Hans for our tranquility"

"Isn't that what guards are for, though?" Anna said, slightly sulky, Elsa reached out to place her hand on her sister's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think...I'm sure you must have been looking forward to spending time with him, Anna, I'm so sorry..."

"No, no, I get it, this guy's a jerk and they might lose what little patience they have and kill him, so Kristoff's the safest choice" Anna hurriedly said, despite still looking slightly sulky. Hans bit back a comment on how, in Kritoff's case, he wasn't sure who was trying whose patience, but it seemed to be somewhere along the middle line.

"Give me some time, I will find someone else to take on the task for a few hours each day so Kristoff and you get some time to yourselves" Elsa promised. Anna smiled mischievously.

"I'll have to content with your company until you do, then!" she giggled, throwing herself towards her sister to catch her into what seemed to be a bone-crushing hug, Elsa tipped slightly to one side, almost falling off her chair, but smiling radiantly all the same. Hans's caught the same thick displeasure from before creeping up on him at the image and had to look away, pretending to be fascinated by the room's tapestry.

And it dawned on him that he was simply resenting the sight of how much these sisters loved each other.

'_No. That's ridiculous_'

Except it wasn't. Putting it simply, he was envious.

The knowledge that Anna would have given her life just to stop him from killing her sister while none of his twelve brothers had so much as uttered a word in his defense when his father decided to give him away as a slave; the knowledge that Elsa, despite everything thought to be wrong with her and her great flaws and her naivety and her mortally strong power that she didn't quite completely control, had friends and the crown and a family, that she had everything he'd ever aspired to, only to have it dangled right in front of his nose before losing sight of it forever…was being rubbed on his face, or so it felt like.

'_All the better for me, though, because these are weaknesses I can't allow myself. I don't need anyone. I don't need friendship or fraternal love, I have fended without them so far and I can do so until the end. I don't need it. I certainly didn't need it back when I had any chance of getting it, there is no way I started needing it now that it's completely out of my reach_'

And yet his fists were tight over his knees.

* * *

><p>Hans's new position and brand new citizenship was announced the next day and he got to work immediately. He knew doing what he had done with the horse put under his care with the rest of the horses wasn't really as hard as it sounded (at least not to him) but he did need to know all of the horses to be able to do so, so by the break of dawn he started riding them and examining them, one by one.<p>

Thirty-something horses and lots of hours later, Kristoff came to find him, Sven's and Hans's horse's reins in his hands.

"Ready for the rematch?" Kristoff asked, pushing the horse's reins into his fingers. Hans rubbed his eyes and handed them back. Kristoff had been demanding rematches like there was no tomorrow ever since he'd first defeated him on a race and that had been days ago.

"I'm working" he replied curtly.

"You've been working all day" Kristoff insisted "You need a break and I want a rematch"

"I want to finish this by today"

"You won't. Trust me, it keeps getting harder to keep it up. It happens with ice too, after the fourth hour in a row everything starts to get blurry and numbers don't add up like they should anymore. Taking a break helps…unless you're willing to accept your victories were just luck"

Hans sighed and threw him an amused glance. "You really want that rematch, don't you?" Kristoff shrugged unapologetically and handed him the reins again.

* * *

><p>After a week of almost non-interrupted work (Almost. Because Kristoff kept coming for a rematch in the afternoon) Hans caught himself waking with the feeling that his extremities were full of lead and an odd, heavy feeling to his head. And despite the fact that it worried him (Hell, he'd been an inch away from death not a month ago, of course it worried him) he told no one and worked the day away, ignoring the fact that the sunlight hurt his eyes, his throat was slightly soar and even the tiniest efforts had him panting and covered in sweat in no time. He was close to lose to Kristoff in their afternoon race and his rival somehow uneasily asked him whether he was OK.<p>

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were worried about me" Hans mockingly said, rubbing the salty sweat off his eyes. Kristoff rolled his eyes.

"Don't make it weird, sideburns, I'm just saying you don't look so well today"

"I'm fine" Hans chuckled out of his sore throat.

Kristoff didn't insist.

That afternoon, Hans entered his room and was surprisingly enough greeted by a rather unhappy-looking Queen Elsa.

"Oh, brother, what did I do this time?" he grumbled, throwing himself face-first onto the bed. There was an odd pressure inside his head and his own breath felt uncomfortably warm in his throat. Elsa mumbled something he didn't catch, so he tipped his head to the side to look at her. "Come again?"

"Kristoff tells me you might be pushing yourself too hard"

He took a moment to digest the fact that Kristoff had in fact been worried, and worried enough to go to Elsa about his thoughts before replying

"Well, I can't just sit put all day anymore. You gave me a job, remember?"

"Are you tired?"

"Are your hands cold?" he retorted, sarcastically. She heard her stifle a gasp and a whoosh of icy wind licked at his back, making him squirm and roll off the bed.

'_Still worth it_'

"Not quite as tired, it seems" she continued, not noticing.

"I'm never tired for you, my Queen" he wheezed from the ground. She let out a groan.

"Will you ever get tired of that kind of distasteful behavior?"

"Not likely" he replied, getting to his feet, ignoring the soreness of his body "It's the most fun I have these days" She gave a sigh.

"I was asking you an honest question, Hans, all I ask is for you to reply properly"

He breathed out and eyed her, briefly considering telling her about the unnerving soreness of his body.

'_Well, to what purpose? Do you honestly think she cares?_'

'_She is asking, therefore she must care_'

_'Or she feels obligated to do so because of Kristoff's comments. Let's not forget this is Queen Elsa goody-two shoes, for Goodness sake_'

"I'm fine" he finally conceded. She threw him a tired half-glare and this prompted him to continue "And what do you care, anyway?'

"You are one of us now, Hans, like it or not we are going to be looking out for you" she cringed slightly after the words left her mouth, as if sorry she'd said them. A pause came, as awkward as the ones the past weeks had held for them. She'd never really stopped visiting him after his afternoon rides, but the visits had become something close to obligation, and she was close to being a disaster when it came to conversation that didn't include the impersonal forms of diplomacy; it seemed as though the last outburst of sincerity had dried them both up of their communication capacities. So they had the kind of mindless conversation people had when they didn't know what to say but couldn't stay silent. It became harder by the minute to find something unimportant to talk about.

'_And avoid saying something sensible_' Hans thought.

Despite this, he had been able to learn a bit more about the Queen, given his observation and deduction skills, an ability he'd been proud of most of his life. He'd been extremely careful as to not let the fact that he was analyzing her show. She could grow wary of him if she realized, and with good reason.

"...well, I—"Elsa started hurriedly.

"I want to take a bath so—" Hans shifted his weight, uncomfortable. He hadn't even noticed how anxious her outburst had made him until then.

"Yes. Yes, certainly, you would need it after—"

"Yeah, I've been working all day in the stables so..."

"I should probably—"

"You should, yeah"

Elsa hurried to the door and grabbed the handle, but stopped right before turning it.

"Hans, just—" her shoulders raised defensively, as if preparing for a blow, but she didn't turn to see him "Just…don't push yourself too hard. Take...take care of yourself"

And she all but ran away from the room. Hans looked at the thin layer of ice she'd left in her tracks and huffed, brushing back the bangs form his face.

_"You are one of us now" _his mind echoed. He couldn't help but think that was just empty wording. He knew how it worked, he was one of them until he screwed up again or until they stopped wanting something from him. And then he'd be part of nothing again.

Sometimes knowing how things worked really sucked.

* * *

><p>"It's just a slight fever relapse, nothing to really worry about" the Doctor assured.<p>

Elsa drummed her fingers over her arm nervously. The floor under her feet was covered with a thin layer of frost.

"Are you sure about that?" she inquired, half-turning to look at Hans, still asleep on the bed, a small bandage fastened to his forehead where his head had bumped against the floor. She had once read infections had the trend of coming back again and again, so when Kristoff stormed into her study an hour or two earlier, telling her how Hans had all but fainted at the stables with a fever so high it was surprising he'd even left bed that morning, her first thought was that the infection had come back.

"They are common with infections, but rarely worsen. I was more worried about his fall from the horse" the Doctor continued "But it seems he's got quite the hard constitution, he got away with bruises and scratches. He'll just need to stay in bed for the rest of the day and take it easy on his routine for a few days, you needn't worry"

"Good" Elsa said, taking a deep breath, but the ice in the floor around her feet simply refused to leave.

'_I am going to kill him for making me worry_'

A line of spikes formed in the sheet of ice as she flinched.

'_Wait, what?_'

* * *

><p>Hans would have been lying had he tried to pretend the fact of laying in bed for most of the day had bothered him, his body did ache something horrible, but he was slightly put off by what his relapse seemed to had done for his interactions with other people. Kristoff dropped by his bedside for a few minutes with what, in any other circumstances, would have passed as friendly concern and casually dropped some advise as to how to deal with bumps in his head and generaly weakness; Anna had followed soon after her beloved left, bringing him a tray with water and some soup and then running as if for dear life. Kai arrived soon after and helped him sit up and eat the soup, patiently waiting when nausea made Hans stop eating and push a hand against his lips. Gerda had brought him a cup of heavily-scented infusion and helped him drinking it down. Hell, even the guard he'd called monkey had peeked inside his room at some point, as if checking on him.<p>

Hadn't it been so baffling, it would have been touching.

Elsa was by his bedside as soon as her duties allowed her, despite his weak protests that he didn't need babysitting, whose lack of energy had the effect of convincing her that he did need it. She had brought a book with her, the dark blue covers empty of a title to give him a hint what it was about. It must have been good, though, because she was caught up in it quickly. Hans drifted into a calm sleep, the ruffling of turning pages and her calm breathing lulling him.

* * *

><p><em>Suddenly he was a boy again, all freckles and skinny limbs and he had the living quarters of the castle all to himself. The halls were high and silent and ominous but he was glad to have them to himself, at least for the day, as he leaped over the sofas and carpets, play-pretending that the tiled floor was flooded in lava.<em>

_ A slight cough behind one of the closed doors stopped him mid-track, cringing at the thought of being caught playing like that. But when the cough repeated, this time a long access, followed by a soft wheezing, he raced to the door worry giving his steps a spring, and pried it open. _

_"Shall I bring you some water?" he asked, his head peeking inside. His voice was tiny, very much how he felt looking inside the dimly lit room where only the bed and a figure laying on it where clearly visible. _

_"_Min lille_, what are you doing here?" his mother hoarsely but kindly called, patting the side of the bed, inviting him to sit by her side "I thought your father had organized a hunt trip in the neighboring kingdom" _

_"I don't like hunting" Hans replied nonchalantly, accepting the invitation. His feet dangled from the sides of the bed. His mother caressed his freckly cheek fondly, a slightly reproachful expression filling her features. _

_"That may be true, but something else happened, didn't it?" _

_He averted his eyes, brow furrowed. She always knew when he was lying. Unlike the rest, who just assumed he always did. _

_"The King said a runt like me can't ride his horses" he mumbled. _

_"Oh, dear, don't be upset. He must have been worried you'd hurt yourself if you fell off the horse" _

_"That's what Bo said too, but Alexei said it was because I'd just make them feel embarrassed if I went. That people would make fun of them because they had a dwarf in their hunting party" _

_His mother sighed, bringing the same hand that had caressed him to her forehead. _

_"Did he, now?" _

_"And Egil said-" _

_"Don't listen to anything Egil says" her mother tiredly countered before continuing in a gentler tone "Your brother has a peculiar sense of humor, he doesn't know when to stop joking" _

_What she didn't know was that he knew when she was lying too. And that even at his short age he already could recognize the malice in the eyes of his brother. _

_"He said it was my fault you were sick to begin with, so I had to stay and take care of you" _

_Her mortified expression made him wish he'd stayed silent. Truth be told, he couldn't understand how his mother's weak health was supposed to be his fault when she had been like that for as long as he could remember, but somehow her reaction to his words made him feel like he'd discovered something he wasn't supposed to._

_"But that's OK, I like…I like being with you" he assured, and it was true. Even if the King had allowed him to accompany them, he would have spent the journey worried about her. She reached out for his hair and ruffled it softly. _

_"You are such a good boy, Hans. But surely you must be bored out of your mind, things as they are, I can't even play with you" she sighed again "I wish one of your brothers had stayed behind so you wouldn't be lonely" _

_He pursed his lips to stop himself from saying it wasn't like having his brothers home or not made any difference in him being lonely. _

_"Back in the library, I saw a book that seemed interesting" he said instead "I'll bring you some water and bring the book so we can read for a while, how does that sound?" _

_Her smile was as warm as it was sad. He could see the tears in her eyes and the knowledge that he couldn't make them go away made him feel like a useless runt more than ever. _

_"I would like that, _min kjære lille_" she replied with a strangled voice._

* * *

><p>Hans awoke slowly, switching from the dream in which he was sitting on his mother's bed, reading for her until the restless coughing became soft breathing, to reality with the mildness of a day becoming a night. Elsa was still there, reading, despite the fact that the lighting of the room told him it had been hours since she'd arrived already. And just as he was wondering whether she had nothing better to do it dawned on him that he had no idea of what she usually did for the day. Taking advantage of the fact that she didn't seem to have noticed what he was doing, he gazed at her under furrowed brows, his eyes inevitably wavering to the white expansion of soft-looking skin the slit in her dress showed.<p>

Why did she wear that for the castle, though? More than one must have run into a wall after crossing her in a hallway for not keeping his eyes on the road.

"How are you feeling?" she inquired, her eyes still on the book. He blinked sleepily; so she had been alert after all! He'd always found women's capacity to keep their attention equally distributed between two or more tasks fascinating.

'_I'm just lucky she didn't notice what I was looking at_'

"Groggy" he replied, moving to sit up on the bed. She put down her book and poured him some water on a glass, handing it to him. The pleasant chill in the water helped him clear his head a little and take his head off her leg "You probably have better things to do than sit by my bedside, so I'd be thankful if you just left me to sleep by myself"

He wished she'd just do it. Suddenly the book she held seemed like a painful reminder. She hesitantly raised a hand, before asserting herself enough to place the back of it on the side of his face, right above the cheekbones. It took all of his might not to squirm away from her touch, the last thing he wanted was anyone touching him with the memory of his mother's gentle caressing so fresh in his mind.

"You still feel slightly feverish" she said, removing her hand.

"Nothing that more sleep and maybe a bath won't fix, so thank you, you can leave now" he retorted, hoping the edge of his voice would make her catch the hint that for the moment all he wanted was to be alone. She didn't, seemingly.

"I'm here out of my own free will, giving me permission to leave is pointless"

"Oh, OK then. Would you PLEASE leave?"

For all answer, she picked up the book again and obstinately kept her eyes on it. He took a deep breath.

"Don't you have papers to sign or something like that?" he grumbled, dropping on the pillows again.

"I do believe that to be my business and not yours" she mumbled back firmly but not unkindly, as if reprimanding a child. He felt his fists tightening at her tone and bit back what would have surely been a fiery reply, contenting with turning on the bed so that his back was turned on her. He knew he was being childish, but since he was being treated like a child anyway, he found no reason not to.

'_Why won't she leave, though?_'

He gave it a good pondering, based on what little he knew about Elsa.

Number one: She never lied. A lifetime of lying to Anna cured her of whatever dishonest impulses she ever had. But that wasn't relevant at the moment, so; Number two: She was an idealist. Not much to say about that except he didn't know how someone could get as old as 21 and stay an idealist. Number three: She was too kind for her own good. It was a redundant statement, taking in account how she was dealing with the man who tried to kill her and her sister and take over her Kingdom, but how she kept her kindness even in a much smaller scale made him appreciate it a bit more. Sure, he still thought what she was doing for him bordered with stupidity and obeyed the same twisted sense of sacrifice that had inspired her to recluse even from her family. But it was harder to give his thoughts heed when in presence of such a seemingly pure, uninterested gentleness.

Maybe that was why he found himself believing in her –Him! Him, who had long since renounced to such useless practices as faith or confidence in others! To find himself putting them in…in a goody-two-shoes, no less!

'_Not only did you start trusting her, you also told her you did_'

He made what could have well-passed for a pout. Maybe his brothers hadn't been too mistaken to call him stupid as he grew up, because he couldn't find another adjective for that kind of behavior. As if summoned by his thoughts, the faces of his family paraded into his mind, along with many questions. How where the bunch of bastards managing? And his father…?

The back of a cold hand made its way to his cheek again and he all but sat up in one leap, his head swimming at the effort.

"Sorry" Elsa gasped, backing away "I thought you were asleep"

"So you thought it was OK to give me inappropriate attention he murmured smiling weakly "Remind me to lock my door at night to save you the temptation of furthering this"

She glared at him, cheeks red with anger and embarrassment. Number four: The fastest way to make her leave him alone was making her uncomfortable.

"I was merely checking on your temperature" she mumbled, picking up her book to –finally!- leave "It appears you were right. It still is high, but nothing a night's proper rest can't cure"

A gust of ice-cold air, complete with some snowflakes hit him straight in the face. Number five: Making her uncomfortable came with a price.

"That ought to cool you off faster, though. I'll take my leave now" she calmly finished as she walked to the door. He could practically see the smug little smile in her face.

"You needn't have stayed in the first place" he called, unable to hold himself back, as he brushed the snowflakes off him "I was never in danger, it's just a fever"

She halted and turned to see him, this time openly scowling.

"Did everything I said to you yesterday enter throught one ear and come out the other?" she snapped "Your level of pig-headedness still surprises me! Kristoff was scared colorless when you fainted and I was worried sick that you'r infection might have-!"

"Hold it, hold it, hold it, _what_?" Hans interrupted, wondering whether he'd heard right. She cut herself, realizing what she had said, but shrugged.

"Well, yes, it's true! We feared the worst when you fainted, all of us did" she continued,wrapping her arms around her own body "We were worried about you, why is that so hard to understand?"

He pinned his eyes to his feet, unable to reply. THe faces of those who had visited him during the day crossed his mind. Kristoff, Anna, Kai and Gerda and the guard...

'_Worried about me_'

He would have liked to doubt what Elsa had said, but unfortunately for him, he realized he knew the look in their eyes as each one of them came into his room. Because years or ages ago one little redheaded, freckly boy had wore the same look when entering his mother's room.

And it dawned on him with such clarity that he wondered why he hadn't thought so before. She had stayed with him not because he needed her to, but because he was now a citizen of Arandelle and the Royal Horse Trainer and a guest in her castle and he wore her crest and...

Elsa took a deep breath, calming down.

"But that's enough for now. You need to rest. Go back to sleep as you wished" she turned to leave.

"That book you're reading…" Hans started on impulse. She stopped and half-turned to see him.

"What about it?"

"…what is it about?"

She seemed genuinely surprised.

"Do you like reading?"

He shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.

"If I have to stay in bed for the rest of the day, I'd like to have something to keep my mind busy"

She eyed him, then the book…and then threw it towards his face. He dodged it barely in time and it landed to his side with a _thump_.

"You tell me, pig-head" she said with a smirk before leaving. Hans picked up the book, the scent of paper and leather covers and ink surprisingly soothing to him.

"_You are one of us now, Hans, like it or not we are going to be looking out for you_"

He chuckled weakly. His brothers were right, he was stupid.

Because, at least for the moment, he was willing ot believe he was part of something.

* * *

><p><strong>CC (a) the author here.<strong>

**CHEESY CHAPTER IS CHEESY ****AHHH THIS CHAPTER TOOK ME SO LONG I WOULDN'T BLAME THE FOLLOWERS IF THEY'D GIVEN UP ON THE FIC I ALMOST DID MYSELF.**

**But, here you go, finally! I feel it's a little unpolished...I left it like that because otherwise I'd end up re-writting it again (I REWROTE IT LIKE THREE OR FOUR TIMES) I know it feels a little pointless but I promise it's actually leading up to a good point.**

**Anyway, I jumped into the Mama's boy!Hans bandwagon, because it makes sense in a Norman Bates-ly kind of way, hehe. Also KRISTOFF IS SUCHA SWEETHEART and Anna mah bby, she's trying.**

**Comments and critiques are welcome!**

**(btw, folks, I just wanted to say thank you for the support and that if someone is interested in making some art for the fic, I'd be more than thrilled)**


	6. Unpredictable

_Please swallow your pride if I have things you need to borrow  
>For no one can fill those of your needs that you won't let show<br>You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand  
>We all need somebody to lean on<em>

_'Lean on me' Bill Withers_

* * *

><p>It was pretty subtle at first, almost invisible, just like the first traces of winter air, pushing themselves among the golden hue of autumn. It could have well passed unseen by everyone. But Hans realized. And as much as he would have fed his ego on the thought that he'd realized because he was just a step ahead of everyone in Arandelle, the truth was incredibly less flattering.<p>

He realized because lately he'd often caught himself staring at Elsa. Greedily drinking in the sight of her skin, the movement of her neck, the silkiness of her hair.

'_Well, I'm a guy, after all_' he would half-apologetically tell himself, feeling so humilliated by the thought alone that he had to fight the urge to hide among the horses he worked with, but he knew it was a poor excuse. Servants and peasants and farmboys could allow themselves such a lame excuse, but him? Despite his present situation, he had still been raised a prince. To find himself rendered to such an inmature and...gut-headed behaviour was infuriating. No matter how much he liked what he saw. Whenever he crossed her on the castle hallways, or caught her sight from the stables, or recieved her visits in the afternoon, his eyes kept wandering over her shape and then one day, while he did this...

Well, later he would think of that moment as 'The moment everything went to hell'.

Of course, he tried to appear not to have noticed. He even spent a ridiculous amount of time convincing himself that nothing was wrong and he was making a fuzz out of nothing at all. But it was hard to tell that kind of thing to himself when he knew that, if there was something he was good at, that was reading people and to him Elsa was like an open book -granted, one incredibly complicated, metaphore-filled book, the kind of book you need to read dozens of times because each time you find something new and the sentences have a new meaning and it hits home in a different way.

"Anything bothering you?" he finally brought himself to ask, one afternoon, right after he handed back the book she'd lent him. Perhaps it was his tone -he'd sounded a tad more impatient than he'd intended to- but he saw Elsa stiffen for a second, before somewhat nervously inquiring.

"Should there be?"

He silently reached out to touch the icy swirl already growing over the covers of the book.

"You've been leaving these everywhere for the past few days" he half-chatized. She cringed slightly, giving him a look that made him think he was about to get ice-pierced, a look that bordered between acusing and terrified, so he continued, hoping she wouldn't connect the dots and discover his

"Should you want something else to read now that you finished this one, the royal library is open for your use" Elsa hurriedly said, getting to her feet and walking to the door, book firmly pressed to her chest as if to shield it. Hans took a step after her, practically holding himself back from taking another.

"Well, thank you, I guess..." he stammered, immediately cringing. Thank you, I guess? Kristoff's lack of class was rubbing onto him, for sure, he squared his shoulders, frowning slightly "I would much rather have an answer, though"

"I-" she stammered, nervous, and for one fleeting moment she seemed about to talk the truth, but the realization that rugged and intricate patterns of ice were now invading the walls of the room silenced her, her brow furrowing- in distress, Hans noticed. The moment passed and she fixed her face into a calm mask "...everything's fine" she continued, her voice quivery with contained emotion "...I have to go"

'_Goodness, Queen Elsa, you really suck at lying. You were only lucky Anna's incredible guilelessness is proportional to your incapacity to make a credible lie, otherwise the whole keeping your ice powers to yourself for thirteen years wouldn't have happened_'

He bit the words back. It was easier than saying he knew her well enough to tell her there was a certain tension in her face and movements that reminisced him of their first meeting. Or that there were circles under her eyes that hadn't been there a few days earlier. Or that he knew she didn't normally freeze everything in contact unless a storm were cooking inside her.

Because telling her that would surely make her wary of him, of how much he knew about her and how he could use it.

The bedroom's door closed behind her.

* * *

><p>"Not that I really care, but...is there some sort of fat problem in the higher ups?"<p>

The hard-bristled brush stopped half-way through the fur on Sven's back and a confused Kristoff glanced at Hans from over the reindeer's body. The perpetualy gold-tinged light of the stables made Hans squint his eyes slightly as he examined the metallic bridle in his hands, and reflected on Kristoff's crested medallion, painting a golden snowflake on the wall.

"Problem?" he absently scratched his nape with the brush, and Hans had to bite his mouth to stop a chuckle "...no, not really, at least none than I'm aware of. Why?"

"Queen Elsa seems...worked up about something"

"Ohhh..." Kristoff nodded comprehensively, as he resumed is task "I guess...well, it's not exactly a big deal, but...Anna's come down with a cold"

Hans breathed out, amused. Of course it would be Anna.

'_But you always have to assume the worst, don't you? Admit it, you would have _loved_ for it to be something far more pressing_'

"That is all?" he asked, turning his back on Kristoff to hide his bitter smile. He hung the bridle and picked up another to examine it. During the past days he'd realized that, surprisingly enough, the riding equipment used in the Royal stables was much less than properly taken care of. The idea that Arandelle's experts on the topic couldn't compete with the knowledge of a prince who'd had quite some spare time during his childhood and therefore picked up a thing or two at his father's stables would have been indignating, had it not been so amusing.

"Well, it's nothing serious, just a common cold. She probably got it from splashing on puddles or something"

'_That does sound like Anna_' Hans thought, hanging the bridle on its corresponding nail and taking the next one with a little less bitterness in his smile.

"But Elsa is..." Kristoff continued "...how can I put it...?"

"Apprehensive?"

"Yeah, that's it" there was a pause, as if he were choosing what to say and what to keep to himself "...for Anna's been incredibly heart-warming, to see her this concerned about her after all those years of being apart, but...geez, Elsa's worrying up a storm. Perhaps more than figuratively"

"Why? It's just a cold, right?" Hans inquired, trying to seem focused in his task, despite the fact that, as per usual, the sole thought of Elsa and Anna's closeness sent a pang of envy through him. The few childhood illnesses her remembered had passed inadverted to his brothers.

"Like I said, just a common cold, but Elsa...well, she's a big sister, and Anna said this is the first time either of them's been sick since they lost their parents. It's kinda harsh on us older siblings to always be on the look-out for the younger ones, so when you're the only one left..." he shrugged. Hans wanted to point out how none of his brothers had shared his point of view when suddenly a thought crossed his mind.

"Wait. You have younger siblings?"he asked, finally looking up from his task. There was a slight cringe in Kristoff's expression, as if he'd just realized he was saying too much. There was a pause in which Hans mentally kicked himself- well _of course _Kristoff wouldn't want to talk about his family with him! Asking alone was foolish enough, but expecting an answer was beyong stupid.

"I guess we could say so, yeah..." Kristoff finally said, visibly hesitant. There was a pause in which Hans, one eyebrow cocked up (What kind of an answer was that?) could all but hear him struggling to decide wether to keep talking or not before he finished the thought "...two of them. I'm the eldest"

"The rough-housing must have been brutal" Hans absently muttered, remembering one of the few activities he'd been allowed to share with his brothers as a boy.

"Ohhh, you bet!" Kristoff's face lit up visibly, as if he'd been fearing another kind of response "They were heavy enough as toddlers, but once they began to grow...man! Sometimes I wonder how I never got a broken bone while playing with them..."

The mental image of a duo of brawny, Kristoff-faced boy and girl and a Kristoff-faced mother, pink apron and all, had him pursing his mouth frantically to stop the laughter from coming out. But another thought cut his mirth short.

"And when they get hurt or sick?" he asked, still thinking about how his brothers always 'Accidentally' ended up smothering him with their weight, or punching him much harder than strictly necessary, or twisting one of his arms a bit too far.

"They're not...they don't get sick or hurt easily" Kristoff hesitantly continued, scratching his chin with the brush pensively, which managed to produce a tight-lipped smile on Hans's account "But when it happens" he shook his head with a huff "Well, it doesn't feel great, you know? Because I always invariably end up thinking I should have taken better care of them, and sometimes I can't even help them feel a bit better, and it's frustrating because they look up to me and kind of expect me to be able to magically wisp bad stuff away"

Hans scowled slightly, eyes set on the bridle in his hands. Had there been a moment when he'd felt that way about his brothers?

'_Not really. At least, not that I can remember. All I remember is feeling left behind by them and being frustrated that hard as I tried I could never reach them_'

When, exactly, had his wish for their acknowledgement, his profound admiration, his yearning for a chance to prove himself to them dried up, leaving nothing but resignation and sense of defeat he never quite shook off?

"Weren't your brothers like that?" Kristoff suddenly asked, perhaps more bluntly than he'd liked. Hans felt the color drain from his face.

'_Bullseye_'

"I'm afraid they differ with you and Elsa as to what the obligations of an older sibling are" he muttered in feigned nonchalance. Kristoff, however, had a doubt that had been eating him ever since Hans had said what his own family had done to him, that day in the tent, weeks ago.

"But...did none of them...? You know..." he leaned forward over Sven's body, supporting himself on the forearms he rested over the fluffy-looking brown fur. Even the dammed reindeer was looking at Hans with wide, surprised eyes "Weren't you close with any of them? Any of them at all"

"It depends on what you consider 'Close', I guess" Hans continued, hanging the bridle on its corresponding nail and pretending to be too busy admiring his well-done work to give any importance to what he was saying, despite the fact that there was a pang in his chest as he spoke "The third on the line, Bo, did at least try to pretend he gave a damn...key word being 'Pretend', because he didn't either"

'_He was just as silent as the rest when father looked at me as though I were a pile of filth in his carpet and pronounced my sentence, and I could hear a few of the servants indignantly muttering about the monstruousity of giving away one's own child, but none of my brothers said a word. Hell, some of them looked like they were enjoying the scene, oh, they would have loved to see how the merchants first dragged me into ther disgusting caravan, kicking and bitting, and how they had to all but beat me to pieces to get me to stop fighting-_'

He felt a shiver down his spine and absently eyed a fading reddish marking of his left forearm. The merchants had tried to brand him with a hot iron, but he'd struggled and squirmed and ended up with an amorphous, blindingly painful mark, and he could still remember the smell of his own skin burning. He kept his eyes there, suddenly conscious of just how marked they'd left him. He knew the his back was filled with the white-gray reminders of the whip. His arms and legs sported lines made by the knife and the fire. His wrists where still stained where the ropes had cut into his skin and he had the feeling they weren't going to be clean anytime soon. If they ever did. Not to mention the beating, insistent ache in some of his mended limbs when the day was damp, specially his mended ribs. He'd been broken to pieces and though he'd been put back together the cracks were still there. He'd probably had it coming, 'Getting his ass kicked', as Anna had so delicatedly put it, but the nagging knowledge that Kristoff would have done everything in her power to save his siblings from a similar fate, even given the far-fetched case that they'd earned it, haunted the back of his mind for a moment.

"I can't say I blame them, we were only half-brothers and...and they probably never saw any similarities between them and me" he tiredly continued in a murmur, not realizing Kristoff was searching for something to say, eyes furiously focused on his task as if the answer were to appear among Sven's fur if he brushed well enough "The age gap between me and them was too big; their mothers where nobles, whereas mine was just an average woman. They were all princes in the whole definition, and me? I was but a runt, an embarrassment, an accident..." he fell silent, suddenly realizing to whom he was talking to and continued, regaining his nonchalant act "We were just too different to be family-"

"My siblings are trolls" Kristoff suddenly said, in a slightly indignant tone. Hans blinked.

"I'm sorry, what-?"

"Trolls. My siblings are trolls, so are my parents...well, my entire family are trolls!" he huffed, as if angry "One day, when I was around six, I wandered into their stone circle with Sven, and was adopted by one of them"

Hans had to stay silent a few moments to accept the fact that Kristoff wasn't making fun of him. Or, at least, didn't think he was.

"Trolls" he deadpanned.

"Come on! Are you telling me on your past visit to Arandelle, you didn't catch wind of 'The guy raised by trolls' among the docks? I got it everytime I came to town to sell my ice, the jerks couldn't even come up with anything better than that"

Hans shook his head. Truthfully, even if he had, his mind had been elsewhere.

"What, really? Not even-OK, know what? Nevermind. The point is" Kristoff continued "It didn't matter to them that I was human, and Sven a reindeer. They took us in and treated us as their own. Back then Bulda and Cliff, my adoptive parents, didn't have any children, but my little brother came along not much later than we did, do you think the fact that we were...well, different, stopped me from loving him and my sister, or them me?"

"What happened to your human parents?" Hans burst out, if only because Kristoff's words had stung more than he dared to admit. Kristoff's face obscured slightly and, surprisingly enough, it made Hans wish he'd said nothing. He was even close to apologizing, or as close as his ego allowed.

"That's, um...that's the question, I guess..." Kristoff muttered.

The urge to somehow make it right again overwhelmed Hans even more, he had to say something, but the only thing that came to mind was 'I'm sure something fat must have happened to them, they surely didn't mean to abandon you', which, clearly, wasn't helpfull at all.

'_I guess it's too much to ask for that I don't go hurting people just by freaking talking to them, right? That's just who I am, a freaking pain_'

"Either way" Kristoff continued, clearing his throat "This is how I understand how Elsa must be feeling. Not only she doesn't have the slightest idea of how to take care of Anna's cold because it's the first time she's had to deal with that kind of stuff on her own..."

"She's not on her own" Hans muttered bitterly, because it was true.

"But, well...this just...sucks. Anna's sick. It sucks"

"Will she be alright?" Hans asked as neutrally as he could, after a short pause.

"I told you already, it's just a cold-"

"No, not Anna" he turned to see Kristoff, expression severe "Elsa"

Kristoff's brow furrowed. Clearly, this wasn't the first time he'd asked himsef that. However, the gesture quickly changed into a playful smirk.

"For someone who doesn't care, you seem incredibly interested, Sideburns"

Hans rolled his eyes. He knew he should have guessed his questions would probably sound suspicious to anyone, but hell, the woman had done so much for him, so yeah, he did care, what was so weird about that?

"If it leaves you any less worried" Kristoff continued, not waiting for a reply "I'm sure when Anna gets better Elsa will be back to normal...or as normal as someone who magically summons ice can be"

"How can you be so sure?" Hans asked.

"Well, because...she's Elsa. She's...she's really strong, Sideburns. Amazingly strong, more than she realizes, anyway. She can do this, I'm sure"

"But..."

"What?"

'_Here's the thing with this...this_ illness_ Elsa has. She will seem to be OK, she will swallow her feelings and discard them as if they were unimportant and they will pile up inside of her. She will bear with it silently,_ _and put on a strong face, and seem OK. And then, suddenly she won't be OK, because she never was to begin with_'

"Hans, what is it?" Kristoff pressed on, this time worriedly and Hans did open his mouth to reply truthfully, he really did, but...

...but saying how much he knew would probably raise questions on why exactly he claimed to know what he was seeing. And he wasn't willing to explain that to anyone, let alone Kristoff. He swallowed the sudden knot of his throat.

"Nothing, you're right" he finally finished, putting down the soapy rag to lean on the wall cockily "So..." he caught a glimpse of of Kristoff rolling his eyes, surely guessing what he was about to ask "Trolls, huh?"

* * *

><p>On later times, Hans would ask himself how he managed to bear those days, days of all but bitting his tongue to stop the words from leaving his mouth when she was around. It wasn't like he wanted to say anything big, just a few words, maybe encouraging, maybe just akcnowledging he knew something was up. Anything. The woman had dared peek among the cracks of his broken person, pried inside him, planted the seed of ideas he had never thought of before. The less he deserved- the less she deserved- was for the tables to turn at least once, dammit!<p>

And yet, he bit back the words, and maybe it was because it would require quite the effort and he wasn't feeling strong enough, or maybe it was because he didn't want to try her patience on a moment of tension such as this. But he had the nagging feeling that he just didn't want her to realize that he was keeping an eye on her, that he cared and he understood, because her reaction to that was something he couldn't fathom.

Then, one day, it happened.

* * *

><p>At first Hans thought he was seeing things, there was no way Anna were standing on the entrance of the stables because a)She was supposed to be bedridden, according to Kristoff b) Chances that she'd step in the one place where she was sure to cross roads with him were slim at most c)Unlikely as it were that she'd decided to have a ride, there was no need to go get the horse herself, tasks like that were what stable-hands were being paid for d)She appeared to be wearing nothing but her sleeping gown. And yet, there she was, leaning against the doorframe, face glistening with a coat of sweat, chest heaving with her wheezy breathing and, yes, wearing only her sleeping gown. A vague thought of himself, in a very similar position not so long ago crossed his mind and suddenly he was full-aware of how incredibly ugly the sight of someone not giving a damn about themselves actually was.<p>

She raised her eyes, seemingly having problems to focus them on anything, and then suddenly fixed them on him, gasping slightly. He froze, unsure of what to do. The most intelligent option seemed to back away slowly and hope someone, anyone else would show up and take her back to her room before she got herself hurt. However, she soon made a hoarse, sharp noise and he realized she was sobbing, the tears she'd been holding back flowing down her cheeks.

"She's done it again!" she mumbled in a strangled, throaty voice, staggering forward, and out of pure instinct, Hans lunged towards her and caught her to stop her fall, so quickly he didn't even register moving at all.

'_Funny, though. Wasn't that how the whole thing began? Anna being a ditz and me play-pretending to be the hero I'm not?_' his mind venomously whispered '_I could lie to myself all day long and say I knew who she was from the moment Sitron hit her, but that's not true. At that moment, at that first moment, before she introduced herself, all I saw was this clumsy, cute young lady who Sitron all but ran into. So the least I could do was make sure she weren't hurt..._'

He gritted his teeth, scowling. Why was it that he always found himself instinctively doing things that, given the time to think, he wouldn't? Because he knew what his brothers would have done in his place. Rode away, ignore the knock on the horse's backside, ignore the upcoming splash in the water. Him? He just had to dismount and apologize and make a fool out of himself. Sure, it had paid off at large -until everything went to hell, that is- but fact remained that he always did unnecesary, stupid stuff that more often than not served no purpose whatsoever, so why bother in the first place?

One of Anna's hands traveled over his chest. The contact was so familiar, the whole scene was like a badly planned reprise of the moment when she'd come back from Elsa's ice castle, shivering and weak and cold. Except this time, instead of hanging from his neck and demanding a kiss, she was crying and pinning her fingers to his vest. Oh, and burning up instead of freezing.

"She's gone and done it again...!" Anna forced out, tugging at his clothes. He found himself most unnervingly unsure of how to respond and she continued "She promised...she promised no more closed doors...!"

"What the-?!" out of nowhere, Kristoff all but pushed Hans aside to scoop Anna into his arms, brown eyes wide with alarm "Anna, what are you doing here? You were supposed to stay in bed!"

"She's shut me out again..." came her groggy, oh so weak-voiced answer. Hans's stomach leaped in alarm as it dawned on him he knew what Anna was talking about because...

'_She just...shut me out and...and I never knew why_'

'_I would never shut you out_'

"What?" Kristoff stammered, confused "Who-?"

"Elsa" Hans replied, breathless.

Kristoff turned to see him, eyes squinting in confusion, Anna pressed to his chest as though she would fly away if he didn't, her sobs muffled against his neck.

"She's locked herself in again"

* * *

><p>'<em>Breath in. Control it. Breathe out<em>'

Her own pulse was loud and quick in her ears, drumming against her temples, making her dizzy. She forced herself to take another deep breath, observing the frozen surroundings of her room out of the corner of her eye before breathing out. She'd learned, years before the great thaw incident, that deep breaths usually helped when she was like this. Except, this time it wasn't working at all.

'_This isn't right_'

The breath hitched in her throat and she lost the even rythm she'd held until then for a couple of seconds, all but panting for breath, feeling like she might suffocate, a sickening ache building up behind her eyes and around her head.

'_Keep breathing. Don't think about it. Just breathe_'

She let all the air out and then steadily drew in as much as she could, trying to overcome the feeling that her chest just wouldn't expand. Above her, icicles were forming, hanging like fangs inside the jaws of a huge beast.

'_No, no, no, stop, why won't it stop?!_'

She hear the soft cracking of more ice climbing on the walls, drawing looming, menacing figures around her. She half-sobbed the air out, frustrated. She'd thought that, after everything she'd gone through, after telling Anna and the whole kingdom the truth, she wouldn't have to deal with this kind of thing again, that she had finally gotten the hang of it. And yet, there they were.

'_I knew it, I was never really getting better, it was all a pretty lie to keep everyone happy_'

She shut her eyes, clenched hands coming up to tangle in her hair and run down her face, barely avoiding scratching her own skin. An overwhelming wave of nausea had her gasping for breath for what seemed ages.

'_Stop. Thinking about this isn't doing any good. Breathe..._'

She let out the air she didn't know she'd been holding, hands pressed against her temples, fingers curled up into her hair and forced herself to take another deep breath.

'_Stupid, stupid. Did you really think you could control this? You're not strong enough, you'll never be. This will just keep on happening until one day you really do kill someone-_'

She had to let the air out because the weight upon her chest had gotten ridiculously worse and made the anguished noise of a drowning woman when drawing in her next breath.

'_Make it stop, oh, please, make it stop, make it stop, why won't it STOP?_'

When the air escaped her mouth again she all but gave up on trying to control her breathing, giving in to the maddening rate of her heartbeat, the sensation that the room around her was spinning and her insides were turning and the inside of her head was both boiling and freezing over at the same time and her hands and feet where miles away from her and her head felt like a kite gaining altitude in the wind and everything but the sick feeling in her whole body just wasn't real enough-

'_Oh, God, I can't breathe..._'

'_...but what does it matter...?_'

There was a constant, far-away noise. It took her a moment to realize it was the sound of someone knocking on her door.

'_Monster. Sorceress_' she distantly thought, feeling as though whatever happened didn't have anything to do with her '_They're coming to get you already, they know what's going on in here, they always knew you couldn't handle it, you pitiful monster in a Queen's disguise_' another idea came afloat, violently tugging her back into reality '_Oh, God, it's Anna, if she comes near me right now I might hurt her again. No, no, please, stay away, whatever you do, stay away-_'

She heard something breaking and confusedly wondered whether that was the sound of her own person finally snapping. And suddenly there was another person in the midst of her personal snowstorm, covering their eyes from the snow, leaning forward against the wind to advance, coming for her.

'_No, no, who are you? Stay away, whatever you do, just stay away, oh, God they're coming near me, no, no, no, please don't-_'

'_Don't come near me!_' she wasn't sure whether she'd screamed it at the top of her lungs or just thought it. Everything was a white and gray haze, the sound of the storm drowning up everything else. Bewilderment so deep it erased everything else flooded her. Was she having a dream, or a nightmare? Why couldn't she feel her hands? Why was everything spinning so much...?

"Elsa, look at me, come on, it's me!" came a distant male voice, a galaxy away, in another lifetime. She slowly raised her eyes to stare at the man, brow furrowed and then, finally, everything fell back into place and Elsa recognized him and everything slowed down a bit, the beating in her ears, the words in her mind, the wind and the snow around them. She took in the freckly face, the patches of reddish hair on the sides of her face and the distinguished shape of the chin.

"...Hans..." she managed between ragged breaths, of course it was him. His hands were raised, showing her both palms, motioning at her for calm, alert eyes on her despite squinting against the wind, brow furrowed in concetration, lips and nose reddish with he icy wind, extremities covered in snow.

"You need to breathe" he called over the wind, his tone tinged with waryness, the cloud of his breath immediately whisked away.

"Hans, you have to get out of here" she forced out between frantic breaths that never quite filled her lungs, the nausea still crawled in her stomach liek an animal eating her up from inside, her body shivering incontrolably as she half-turned her back on him, trying to hide her damp eyes and pale face. She wasn't cold, she'd never been cold in her lfie, but her body seemed posessed by an exterior influence that didn't allow her to stop trembling "I can't...right now I can't..." A shudder, so violent she had to stop for a moment and hug herself, ran down her spine "You need to leave"

'_I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone. Please, please, I just want to live without hurting others..._'

"I can't do that"

She looked at him again, he was advancing again and she wanted to tell him, order him, _beg him_, please, not to, but she could swear if she tried to speak she would end up throwing up, so she pursed her mouth shut, averted her eyes in panic and tried, hopelessly, to not feel.

"Look at me" he called softly, and then louder when she ignored him "Elsa, look at me" he breathed out "Dammit, just look at me!" out of nowhere a hand grabbed one of hers and she started squirming away, letting out a series of panicked, high-pitched cries. He immediately released her "Alright, I get, it! I won't touch you, just-!" he swore under his breath and continued, clamer "Just look at me! Elsa. Look at me"

She fought the haze of panic just enough to pin her eyes on him and what she was made her weightless head land over her shoulders immediately, because she was expecting a mad Hans, an annoyed Hans or even a sneering Hans.

Instead, what she got was a wide-eyed, visibly worried Hans.

And he was so close, she could faintly smell the hay and see the auburn-colored splatters in his green eyes. She started to move away, but he backed off immediately.

"Easy" he said, gently, almost a purr, hands making calming motions again "Elsa, just breathe in. Breathe..." he exemplified it by taking a deep breath himself and, without realizing it, Elsa did so too. He let the air out slowly, a white, ghostly cloud escaping from between his lips steadily.

'_If I let the air out I won't be able to breathe in again-_'

"Keep breathing" he instructed, noticing her reluctancy "You can do this"

'What if I can't?!' she mentally retorted, noticing he was cringing slightly. Her eyes darted down, a small whimper escaping her lips as she noticed there was ice growing over his boots and legs, as well as his arms and torso. She wrung her hands '_Why can't I stop?!_'

"Don't" he demanded, cutting the voice in her head short, firmly but not unkindly. Her eyes darted back at him, uncertain. When did he become this patient, she wondered? "Don't look down, look at me. I'm right here, Elsa"

'_Yes, but why?_'

"Don't think about it" he continued, as if guessing what ran through her mind, the snowflakes got caught in his eyelashes and he blinked furiously to shake them away "Stay with me. Keep breathing. Steady" she realized she'd been keeping a pace again, the tiniest hint of relief relaxing the tense line of her raised shoulders "That's it, you're doing great, keep it up"

So she breathed. Again. And again, for what seemed hours, until the pain behind her eyes and numbness of her members started to dissolve, as well as the haze in her head. The colors regained an almost aggresive sharpness, as well as the sounds of the Kingdom outside her window and whisperings on the hallway behind her busted door (Oh, so that was the breaking sound), her head spinned slightly, she felt the hair sticking to her head with sweat, her mouth felt dry as parchment, her legs wavered, throwing her forward.

He noticed, and before Elsa could even register what was going on, there was already an arm surrounding her waist to support her, and his collarbone had met her cheek. He was leaning forward slightly, muttering gentle words close to her ear.

'_He's talking to me like I'm one of his horses_' she thought somehow bitterly. She would have been indignated, hadn't the thought that she'd been acting more or less like a scared animal ocurred to her. The next thought was as disconcerting as it was sudden '_His hands are huge_' and yes, she could feel both the base of his palm and the tips of his fingers on her side as he held her and tell there was a fair distance between them. And they were so warm. It was at the same time incredibly uncomfortable and very soothing. She was torn between breaking away and holding on to him like she would to anything at her grasp, were she in the middle of the water, drowning. And then she caught what he was saying.

"...you are not alone, Elsa..."

So she held on to him, tears falling from her eyes, a fierce cry leaving her lips, because she _had_ been drowning.

* * *

><p>"I made Anna sick" came Elsa's muffled voice from the bed,<p>

Hans looked up from his position, sitting near the door, brow furrowed in confusion. After Elsa could finally stop crying -a much needed release he witnessed in silence, supporting her weight so she didn't tip over- he'd lead her to the bed, made her sit down and put the thick, surprisingly fluffy quilt over her shoulders and head like a cloak. Although visibly confused at first, Elsa had melted into the comfort of it and ended up curling up on her side, knees moving towards her chest as he wrapped around her until only her closed eyes could be seen under it and then he retired to the chair by the door, giving her some much needed space.

'_Way to go Hans_' he had frustratedly chatized himself. He'd done it again, gone and done things without thinking. What the hell was wrong with him? All it took was understanding what Anna was saying and before he knew it he was rushing through the halls like an idiot, ready to play hero again. What for? _Why_?

By then, as the in-room-temperature had started to normalize and the ice to recede, Kristoff, Kai and Gerda had finally brought themselves to peek inside the room.

"She's alright" Hans had whispered with a bitter half-smirk "She just needs some calm right now...and a glass of water. Perhaps some sweet she's specially fond of too"

Both Kai and Gerda had eyed each other, unsure, but Kristoff had nodded at them reassuringly so they had bowed and left. And just as Kristoff was turning to leave too, Hans had stopped him with a question.

"How's Anna?"

"She's alright" Kristoff whispered, a relieved smile coming to his lips as he turned to him again "Almost scared me to death with her little escapade, but it apparently didn't do her any harm. She's sleeping now"

"That's good to hear" Hans had replied, catching a slight movement on the quilt-covered figure inside the room out of the corner of his eye.

"...I'm an idiot" Kristoff had ruefully added, still in a whisper.

"Not that I disagree" Hans unkindly smirked "But why do you say so?"

"I should have...I should have done something!" he had frustratedly continued "I'm like...her brother-in-law or something, for Pete's sake! I should have known-!"

"Like you said, she's very strong" Hans found himself saying. Oh, great, now he was comforting the oaf, just when had he become one for such trivialities? "It's just that, sometimes we forget this doesn't mean she's not human"

Kristoff looked at him, as if re-evaluating him, before breathing out and running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, well, I'm just...I'm just glad you were here to help her"

Hans had felt his insides turn at those words. Not exactly unpleasantly, but not nicely either.

"Yeah, well, I owe her, I suppose" he had mumbled embarrassedly. Kristoff had patted his back -so forcefully that Hans had staggered forward on the chair- before running back to Anna's bedside, leaving him to his thoughts. As soon as he was sure no one was watching, he had let his head fall to his hands, pinching bridge of his nose, scowling lightly.

'_OK. It's official. I have absolutely no idea of what I am doing anymore_'

Whatever had happened to 'Just drifting on the current'? When had stopped not giving a damn about anything but himself? Not only that, hadn't he comfortably settled down on a completely indiferent approach to life itself, interrupted every now and then by the guilty pleasure of getting on other people's nerves? Then, why on earth was he suddenly allowing himself the weakness, the pathetic indulgence of worrying about anyone else? These people who'd been his downfall, no less! He scoffed at himself, just what kind of an idiot did that?

'_Maybe Elsa's ridiculous idea of 'Fixing me up' wasn't that ridiculous, after all_' a mild voice in the back of his head suggested. He shook his head, discarding the idea immediately '_Oh, when has anyone thinking good things about me turned out right? Maybe I did some pretty decent things in my past, maybe I am doing not to shabby right now, but I'd have to be positively crazy to even think that makes me less of a...a villian, than I was two months ago!_'

'_Well, then, what is going on here?_'

And that's where he'd been stuck into, until her words took him by surprise. He remained silent for a few minutes, mouth pursed, brow furrowed.

"I said, I made Anna-" came Elsa's muffled voice again.

"You're wrong" he deadpanned. Her eyes pinned on him with confusion and shock for a few seconds.

"I beg your pardon?"

"There's been a flu going around town for a few weeks now" Hans continued, in the tone of someone who is just stating the facts "The weather's been getting colder and damper. People who don't leave home often tend to have weaker inmune systems, and there is also the fact that there is a furry reindeer in the castle now and animal hair has been known to cause all sorts of respiratory problem"

"Anna hadn't been in bed with a cold for years" Elsa remarked, hugging her knees tighter under the quilt "She starts spending more time with me and immediately gets sick? It's obvious, really"

"Or she spent an afternoon splashing on the puddles around the castle, who knows?"

"That does sound like her" she conceded, her voice conveying a weak smile. He felt one spreading over his lips too. As much as Anna annoyed him, she had quite the amusing traits.

"She's a wild one"

"Perhaps too much for her own good" Elsa sighed "What was that 'Little escapade' Kristoff spoke of?"

"It was how we found out what was going on in the first place...she must have wanted to sneak into your room to spend some time with you, but when she discovered the door was closed, she..."

'_She said you froze her heart!_'

He cleared his throat and continued.

"She ended up wondering right into the stables"

"What?!" Elsa cried, sitting up on the bed, the quilt falling around her shoulders like a shed cocoon.

"You heard Kristoff, she's alright" Hans quickly added, simultaneasouly cringing at the fact that he was actually trying not to make Elsa feel worse, even if it was just to convince himself that he wasn't the same person of his flashbacks.

"She's not supposed to expose herself to the low temperatures!" Elsa cried, wringing her hands and everything fell into place in Hans's head, momentarily erasing his musings on his own behaviour "She will catch her death-!"

"That's why you locked yourself in again" he said. She pursed her mouth shut, looking at him in what could have well been fright "You've been icing things for the past days and you didn't want it to make Anna get worse"

A short silence, during which her scrutinizing made him realize he'd just gone and babbled out what he'd been trying to keep in for days. But if Elsa had caught the implication of his words, she didn't show. Instead, she took a deep breath before starting to speak, in the tone of someone who fears they are going to say something worth reproaching.

"I have...I have been having trouble controling my powers again" she admitted, eyes downcast and on her hands "Nothing too big...well, until today, that is" she looked at him, as if justifying herself "A-at first I thought it was nothing serious, I mean, it always happens when I'm upset and-"

"And frankly, you've been feeling like trash lately" he completed before he could think what he was saying. She looked at him, this time openly surprised. He looked away, mildly uncomfortable at having revealed -yet again- just how easily he could read her.

"Yes" she finally breathed out. He nodded comprehensively, so she cleared her throat and continued "I though maybe I just needed some alone time to figure it out, and keeping my cold away from Anna couldn't hurt, so..." she shrugged listlessly, adding, in a visibly darker mood "I did figure she'd wonder why I wasn't visiting her more often, what I didn't foresee was that she'd get so impatient she'd come looking for me and discover I'd locked the door again..."

"You couldn't have known" Hans found himself saying, and he had to physycally restrain himself from sighing in resignation, utterly convinced that he was being a fool "Either way, what's past is past, there's no use in moping about it"

"I guess you're right" Elsa said with a sigh, wrapping herself on the quilt and laying down on her side again "I will have to apologize, though"

"That would be wise, yes"

There was a short silence before Hans burst out.

"And how are you feeling now?"

"How am I feeling?" Elsa repeated, confused, as if the question hadn't even crossed her mind until he made it, before replying "I feel...I don't know. A little better I guess. Unleashing a snowstorm, even if it's just in my room, is... very liberating" she chuckled awkwardly "Not that I think it's an acceptable luxury, doing this every now and then, but-"

"And why not?"

This time, she peeked at him from under the quilt, one eyebrow cocked.

"Please tell me you are joking"

"Actually, yes" Hans admited with a low chuckle "But I do mean it, if you need to freeze some stuff to blow some steam off every now and then..."

"No, Hans- I could hurt someone! We're both lucky I didn't hurt you today" her eyes were damp as if the thought of hurting anyone at all were unbearable.

"Are you always this concerned about other people's well-being rather than your own?" he challenged with a smirk.

She pursed her lips, averting her eyes nervously. It occured to Hans how unlikely the present situation actually was; Elsa was really comunicating with him, instead of saying pretty things he seemed to need hearing, and he was saying things she needed hearing without having to lie to her.

"...were you really worried about me back then?" he inquired in a voice barely above a mutter. She huffed and sat up again, scowling at him.

"Hans, _really_. Must we have that conversation again? I do" he seemed taken aback by how easily the words had come out fo her mouth, and added, in a softer tone "I do"

"Well, then let's get something straight" he retorted, still mumbling, and he raised his eyes to pin them in her with something close to reproach and she glanced at him in shock "This thing you're trying to do with me, it's supposed to work both ways, I hope you know that. You've made me involve myself with you people, and now that I'm involved, I can't just...I can't just look at Anna not giving a damn about her well-being, or you shutting everyone out again" the shock in her eyes grew "Look, all I'm saying is, if you say I'm one of you, then at least admit you are one of us too! And that, like it or not, we are going to be looking out for you"

She looked at him, but he couldn't, wouldn't read her expression, his eyes set on the drawings of the wallpaper. But then he felt it, a slight shift in the air, the kind of thing one would feel when a ray of sunshine shines inside an otherwise dark and cold room. He ventured to look at her again and found her smiling; a radiant, pure smile he had never seen aimed towards him. His fingers tingled with what seemed an electrical wave and his stomach gave a jolt.

'_Oh, no_' a thought in the back of his mind chanted. He pushed it back, refusing to aknowledge what he'd just realized.

He cleared his throat, suddenly noticing he had been staring again and hoping she made nothing of it.

"I should go back to work" he managed as he took a step back despite the fact that his throat felt suddenly dry "I was in the middle of something when I rushed up here so-" damn, he hadn't intended to say that. The memory of himself, running like a madman along the halls, closely followed by a unbelieving Kristoff with Anna in is arms was embarrasedly fresh in his mind. No one had expected that reaction from him upon learning Elsa's situation. Not even him.

'_Stupid little Hansy_' he chided himself with words his brothers had often told him and cleared his throat again.

"I must go" he bowed and turned his back on her. Ah, yes, that was him. That was the indifferent, definitely-not-swayed-at-all Hans...

"Hans" she called behind him, he froze in place, hoping his cringing hadn't been too obvious "I...Thank you"

His stomach felt as though someone had decided to put a small, hyperactive animal in it.

"Right, yes, anytime" he hurriedly replied, aware of the fact that he needed to get out of there before anything else happened, But on his hurry, he tripped with the remains of her door and almost fell, and then realized what he'd just said "No, I mean, don't do anything like this anytime soon, but if you do-" he grimaced, thankful that his current position didn't allow her to realize his face was probably the same color as his hair "I must go"

Despite the fact that he was walking -a little faster than necessary, granted- he felt like he had just ran away after he arrived at the stables.

* * *

><p>One or two days later, as they prepared Sven and Hans's mount for their afternoon ride, Kristoff amusedly commented on how Anna seemed to eb all better, save from a mild cough, but Elsa had woken up feeling slightly under the weather. Hans retorted that, with the time Elsa had been spending by Anna's bedside after what had happened, it was only natural she'd caught whatever her little sister had.<p>

"But it's kind of funny" Kristoff continued, feeding Sven a carrot "Who knew the 'Snow Queen' of all people could catch a cold?"

"And I bet Anna's all to happy to be able to coddle her sister all day long, though" Hans said, adjusting the saddle on the horse's back.

"Totally. Let's just hope Elsa doesn't get impatient and escapes her room too" Kristoff chuckled, taking a bite of Sven's carrot and continuing between scrunches " 'specially not'n her p'jamas"

It didn't even surprise Hans anymore when he found himself thinking that was one sight he wouldn't dislike to behold.

"By the way, Sideburns, today Anna had a little something brought for you as thanks for 'Not-being-a-douche-for-once-in-your-douchey-life'- her words, not mine!"

"A little something? What?" Hans asked.

"I actually don't know myself" Kristoff admitted "I just know it'll arrive in a few days and that it's something she'd already though of doing before but, well..."

"She hates me" Hans completed

"No, it's- Look, she doesn't like you. At all. But she doesn't exactly hate you anymore, I'd call that a start, considering..." her trailed off, as if he'd suddenly realized what he was going to say wasn't appropiate.

"Considering I'm a jerk who almost got her dead, yes" Hans finished and turned to see him "I won't get offended if you rub that on my face, you know, it's true"

Kristoff fiddled with Sven's necklace for a moment before replying.

"You're also the guy who helped her sister when no one else knew how, Hans. And she will always remember that now"

As both of them mounted and rode to the exit of the stables, a question echoed through Hans's mind.

'_Which one is the real one?_'

* * *

><p><strong>C.C (a) the author here.<strong>

***LOUD CHEWBAKKA NOISES***

**Guys, I'm so sorry this took so long, I had computer problems, and time problems, and health problems and just general problems. Hope it was worth the wait! I really wanted to have Kristoff and Hans become buddies -and some people were hoping for it to happen too- and though it's quite the awkward friendship right now, I'm hoping to make it grow from here on out, as well as the OTHER relationship featured in this chapter, huehuehue ****coughHELSAcough**

**I have the most horrible headache right now so I'll leave it at that. As usual, comments and critiques are welcome!**


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